Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box
by Chiihuahua
Summary: A retelling of the second game. Rated T for swearing, and the fact that this might make small children very sad. Also, -intentional- OOC.
1. All Aboard the Gruesome Express!

Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box

One stupidly boring day much like this one, Professor Layton and Luke were in Layton's apartment doing nothing in particular. The professor had just came back from the shitty mailbox that for some reason was located all the way down the lane, holding a crispy white letter in his sticky hand that smelled somewhat of lemonade. "Luke, my boy! It seems that we have gotten mail from my mentor, Doctor Schrader."

"That's nice, professor." Said Luke, staring boredly out of the grimy dirt window, "But to be honest, I don't really care."

"Meh." Said Layton, "Me either. Fuck it." He tossed the letter over his shoulder and proceeded to make himself some tea.

And you can already guess what kind of ooc story this is.

5 days later, Layton was cleaning up the disasterous apartment, tidying things and putting things in order, when he found the letter again. It was a little stained now, and the edges were crumpled. But it stood there on the carpet, tempting Layton to open it. He bent down smoothly, and picked up the letter. He was just about to open it when he heard a crash in the kitchen, and Luke's bloodcurling screams. Quickly, his head turned around, "LUKE?"

"PROFESSOR HELP! I WENT IN THE REFRIGERATOR, AND I SPILLED SOMETHING! EW IT'S EVERYWHERE AND IT'S ALL STICKY"

"Luke!" Layton scrowled, and absentmindedly threw the letter somewhere, and ran into the kitchen, stepping in a puddle of an icky white-coloured unknown substance that made squishy noises under his feet. You could hear his wise words he said to Luke at that moment, even in the livingroom, where that dear letter rotted away on the plush red carpet, "MY WORD! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT?"

The week went by nicely. It was Thursday afternoon, and Layton for some reason had a day off from the University. He was sitting in the livingroom, drinking his tea from his favourite tea cup, when he noticed something white underneath the brown coffee table. Setting his tea cup on a coaster on top of the coffee table, he went underneath it and pulled out an envelope. "..What's this?" He asked himself.

He called his apprentice into the room.

Luke and the professor stared at the letter curiously.

"Who's it from, professor?" Asked Luke.

"It appears to be from my mentor, Andrew Schrader. This letter was sent here a few weeks ago."

The professor opened up the letter, staring at the long agonizing paragraphs. "...Bleh. How about we go outside, Luke, for some fresh air?"

"Sure, professor!"

And FINALLY that night, the duo had worked up the effort to finally read the fucking thing.

"It says here that Doctor Schrader had got his hands on The Mashed Potato box. A box rumoured to kill anyone who opens it. It says here that his curiousity had peaked him to his limit, and that when he opens it and dies, he wants me to carry on attempting to solve it's mystery."

"..If that crap was sent more than a week ago," Said Luke, "He's probably already dead."

"..Come on then, we have to go over there." He sounded reluctant.

"Do you know where he lives, professor?"

"No."

...

"Oh wait, nevermind, Luke. There's a convieniently attached map."

"What the fuck kind of shit is this?"

The two got into the Laytonmobile and drove off, to Schrader's house. They got into the building, and stood outside his apartment. Of course, the door was locked.

"How are we supposed to get in!" Asked Luke. "We could be trapped here forever and never get to the other side! Why didn't we read the letter sooner professor? Why oh why?"

"Luke.."

"He enclosed a map! Why didn't he just enclose a key too? What's the point of telling us where he lived if we have no way of getting in there?"

"LUKE!"

"I'M GOING TO GO KILL MYSELF WITH THIS RUSTY SPOON."

"LUKE!"

"We're going to have to wait here ALL YEAR LONG IN THIS TACKY HALLWAY! Just waiting and waiting until SOME ONE WHO HAS THE KEY CAN KINDLY LET US IN! It was all for naught profes-"

"I HAVE THE KEY, LUKE. IT WAS UNDER THE MAT."

Luke looked down at his feet. He was standing on a burgundy 'WELCOME' mat. Layton was at Luke's side, holding up a shiny golden key. He put the key into the hole and opened the door.

On the middle of the floor lay the dead, decomposing corpse of Andrew Schrader.

"THAT FUCKING SMELL!" Cried Luke, "HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN DEAD?"

"..Excuse me, Luke." Said Layton as he turned around and emptied the contents of his stomach all over the floor and the welcome mat from earlier.

Luke inched his way into the office and over to Schrader's body. In the background, you could still hear Layton's gags and the sound of sick splashing the floor. He looked around the room. Was he scanning for the box? A puzzle? Some clues?

"A-HAH!" Luke cried out when he found was he was looking for.

He ran over to the corner of the room. Right by a window that was missing a curtain, stood a lean stick. It was a tree branch, and it was probably a foot long. Luke walked over to the dead body, and began poking it.

Luke was fully enjoying himself, seeing as the poking lasted a good fifteen minutes.

"LUKE!" Layton said suddentally, shaking the boy out of poking paradise. "Stop poking my mentor! We must call the authorities!"

Sure enough, the authorities were called and arrived another 15 minutes later. Inspector Chelmey and his assistant ran into the room. Chelmey slipped on Layton's throw up expels on the floor, and found himself with his head burried into the dead body's stomach- If you would call it that.

"LOOK!" Cried Luke. "It's that guy! Remember? From Mystere!"

Layton seemed shocked, "Don P... Pa.." Then confused. "..Don.. Pao.. How the hell do you pronounce his name?"

"I'LL SAVE YOU PROFESSOR!" Luke picked up the poking stick and began beating Chelmey.

Chelmey's assistant attempted to pull Luke away from Chelmey, but he ended up being whacked upside the head with the stick.

"HEY!" Said the assistant, blood dripping down from the wound on his head, "Aren't you going to stop your boy?"

"No. It's not my problem." Layton pulled some tea out of his top hat, sat down on a stool, and watched.

..

"..I'm sorry, Inspector Chelmey." Said Luke once he was calmed down and informed that this person was actually the REAL inspector Chelmey.

"..That's okay." said the inspector. He now had both of his arms twisted into a position that no normal person can do, and his left leg seemed to be bent into a spiral. He had a black, swollen eye and blood coming out of his mouth. His mustache seemed to be ripped off, and he had teethmarks on his cheek. "Anyway, it seems here we have a.. A suicide."

"Suicide?" Said the professor, "What makes you come to that conclusion?"

"YOU DARE QUESTION MY KNOWLEDGE?"

"No, I-"

"SHUT UP AND LET THE GREAT CHELMEY SPEAK!"

"I was just saying that, ma-"

"SHUT UP! WHO ARE YOU TO INTERRUPT THE GREAT CHELMEY?"

Layton cleared his throat, "I'm Professor Hershel Layton, and-"

Luke cut him off. He and Chelmey's assistant began giggling.

"What is so funny?" Demanded Layton.

"YOUR NAME!" Replied Luke. "What kind of fucking name is 'Hershel' anyway? That's a fucking old person's name!"

Layton frowned. "...I'm not old."

Chelmey somehow crawled away from the body, "..It's too decomposed to tell what happened to him, but I think he hung himself."

"..Where did he hang himself, then?" Asked Layton, "It doesn't make sense. If he hung himself, where's the rope or the object he used to hang himself with? He wrote us a letter saying that he found the Mashed Potato Box. Rumour has it, that anyone who opens this box dies-"

"..If that's so. Where's the box? YOU'RE NOT THINKING THINGS THROUGH EITHER! HAH!"

"Isn't it obvious? Some one stole it."

All eyes were on Layton. Layton smirked and adjusted his tophat. He walked over to the window with one curtain and pointed to something. They all walked over to the window, 'cept Chelmey who crawled.

There was a curtain rope sticking out of the window that lead downstairs.

"..LET THE GREAT CHASE FOR THE MASHEDPOTATO BOX COMMENCE!" Declared Chelmey. "Quick, Barton! COLLECT ALL OF THE EVIDENCE IN THIS ROOM AND LEAVE GAYTON WITH NOTHINGGGGG!"

A fast as you could say 'LOL GAYTON', Chelmey's assistant, Barton, shoved every single thing that could count as evidence into a sack. Including some ripped up pieces of paper that Layton had his eye on. Then, Chelmey and Barton escaped through the fire escape that's there because I fucking said so.

Layton and Luke stood there in a now completely empty room that's even missing it's wallpaper and furniture.

"Professor! What's that?" Luke said, pointing to the only thing Barton left behind. It was on the floor where the dead body used to be. A train ticket.

Layton picked it up. "It's a ticket for the Gruesome Express.. That leads... Nowhere."

...

Luke and Layton entered their car-room thingy of the Gruesome Express.

"WOW!" Gasped Luke. "THIS ROOM IS SO-... oh."

The room was anything but fabluous. A vast army of big fat rats with huge, glowing red eyes, and fat pink tails scurried around at their feet. The room had poor, shitty lighting, and the only thing giving this room light was the window. And that was very little. The window was extremely dirty, nearly black, and it was cracked. The bed that they had to sleep on was nothing but a mattress that smelled alot like curdled milk. There were an assortment of stains decorating it. Stains of all different shapes, sizes, and colours. On the bleak, equally stained walls were roaches. Little brown things scurrying up and down the walls in rows, and there was a nasty cobweb in the corner of each wall. One of the walls sat a fat spider.

Luke and Layton stood silent in the door way, listening to the sounds of the rodents and the creeking sound of the train's engine. Luke didn't DARE bounce on that fucked up couch with the springs sticking out of it like spikes over there in the far corner of the room.

"It can't be that bad, my boy." Said Layton.

"..Oh yes it can. We haven't even SEEN the bathroom yet."

To prove Luke wrong, Layton took his hand, stepped over the rats, and lead them to the bathroom. Shut up there's a bathroom in there. I DON'T KNOW HOW THESE TRAINS ARE LAID OUT. SHUT UP STOP LAUGHING AT ME.

He opened the door. The bathroom had brown mushy stuff with yellow solid chunks crammed into it on the ceiling. It dripped down onto the floor, which was full to the ankles of this disgusting... Thing. The bathroom smelled terrible, mainly because the stained brown toilet was full of.. Waste. And there seemed to be no flusher-thingy.

"Professor!" Cried Luke. "Let's get out of here! Please!"

The Professor didn't budge, even though his stupidly tall tophat was getting brown ick all over it. "My boy! This reminds me of a puzzle!"

"PROFESSORRRRR!"

But Luke was ignored, "Well Luke, you see, if these brown things grow on the ceiling at a rate of 5 centimeters per second, what would happen if.."

"PROFESSOR PLEASE!"

"And the measurement of a person in the corner sitting with correct posture compared to the.."

Luke felt the brown stuff ooze down his blue messenger cap and onto his forhead. It was cold, like a slushy. "PLEASE, PROFESSOR!"

"So if the 200th kilometer was multiplyed by the number of pens I have on my desk at home.."

"FUCK, PROFESSOR! COME ON!"

5 hours later, Luke's entire body was drenched in brown.

"PROFESSSSORRRRRRRRRRR!"

"..Oh, Luke! Sorry, I got caught up in a puzzle. Come on, let's change our clothes, shall we?"

"Agh."

..

After getting cleaned up somehow, the two abandoned their suitcases in the seemingly most cleanest corner of the room, and went to explore the rest of the dismal train. "No wonder why they call this place gruesome." Frowned Luke, staring at the bright, bright, bright, bright, red walls of the train, and the bright, bright, bright, bright, green floors. They were walking down a long hallway connecting to the rest of the cabins. "I'm getting a little hungry, Luke." Said Layton. "Let's stop by the dining car and get something to eat."

The dining car was extremely crowded and full of chatter. Luke paid close attention to the food. Have they all ordered the same thing? On everyone's plate was something that looked like jell-o. 'Cept that the jell-o sometimes varied in colour.

"Ah, hello!" Said the waitor, "What luck! A table for two just opened up!"

Scratch that. Some fat chick ran in and sat down at their table.

The waitor shrugged and walked away from Luke and Layton, getting the fat person's order.

"He's just going to leave us deserted like that?" Said Luke, "That's not fair!"

"Now Luke, a gentlemen always lets a lady go first. Even if she is a fat bitch."

The two left the dining car, wandered around, and found the observing deck. Kinda like a boat or somethin'. The chairs on deck were rusty metal, and the sky above was gray and onmious. Layton looked up and noticed that the sky was only gray above the train. Everywhere else was a clear blue. He dare not to point this out to Luke.

"So anyway, what do you think this ticket had to do with the Mashed Potato Box?" Asked Luke.

Layton shrugged, "To hell if I fucking know. This damn ticket probably means nothing and we came aboard this train for no real reason."

All the sudden, it started to rain. It began to pour, and thunder began booming. Only on the train, though. Layton didn't bother to point that either. Instead he followed Luke to the end of the rail.

"I'm so hungry," Luke complained, not noticing he was getting soaked, "Why did that fat person have to steal our table."

Layton looked down, the rain making a flood up to his ankles, "Luke, let me tell you a puzzle, to get your mind off of your hunger."

"Can I eat this puzzle?"

"No."

"Then shut the fuck up!"


	2. Next Stop, Dropstone!

Omg, it appears that I'm continuing it.

Well, I'd like to thank everybody for their reviews and motivation. Well.. You asked for it.. (Strangely) And here it is;

**Last time on Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box:**

Layton and Luke procrastinate and it fails to prevent the rather boring death of Andrew Schrader, after he had opened the cursed Mashed Potato Box- A box rumoured to kill whoever opens it. The only clue left behind by the police was a train ticket that leads to nowhere. And after broading the Gruesome Express and having the worst possible luck, the two stand there on the deck of the train. Why? Idk, they did that in the game for some reason, just go with it.

_(..and remember kids! intentional ooc!)_

* * *

><p>Getting bored of staring at rows and rows of grass, and getting chilly from being so wet, Layton suggested they leave the deck and continue to search around for more clues about the Mashed Potato Box. Luke agreed.<p>

The two were walking through the hideous train again when they noticed a short man with a hat and a cane, standing there for no particular reason."Why don't we just ask other people what they know about the box?" Said Layton. "Makes it easier on us." "Yeah." Agreed Luke, "The less to explore the better. This entire train is making me sick to my stomach."

"Or burning out my retinas," His mentor added.

Layton approached the man, "Hello, sir!"

With a smooth movement, the man turned to Layton. He had an arrogant look on his face. "Ah, hello." Smiled the man, "No need to call me sir. The name's Mr. Beluga, and this is my train."

Layton and Luke stared at the man in shock.

"Isn't this the most lovely train you have ever seen?" Mr. Beluga continued. "This train has been all over the London papers, and critically praised."

"WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF FANTASY ARE YOU LIVING IN?" Screamed Luke.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Shouted Layton. "SIR, I BELIEVE YOU'RE DELUSIONAL."

Mr. Beluga smiled a somewhat sinister smile, "I don't believe I understand what you're saying. Train enthusiasts come from all over the world, to ride my wonderful train."

"YOU'RE SICK! COME ON, LUKE."

Luke and Layton proceeded to run away from the senile man.

Mr. Beluga just laughed, "Everyone loves my train. Everybody loves my train. People come from all over the world... Just to ride my train."

Feeling hungry, Layton and Luke decided to try the dining car one last time. The waiter had greeted them again and finally let them sit at an open table. The two took a look at the very promising menu, and already felt their spirits rise. "I want this, and that, and this, and that, and this!" Said Luke, pointing to different foods. The Professor watched the boy in horror, "You're going to fucking eat a hole in my wallet!"

There were shouting at the other end of the dining car, all the way in the back where the kitchen was. One of the voices were very familiar."What's that?" Luke frowned. They both turned to the commotion. Mr. Beluga was seen yelling at some large heavy-set man in the kitchen. He was wearing a large white chef hat.

"THIS ISN'T CHICKEN!" Screamed Mr. Beluga, waving around a chicken wing, "THIS IS BEEF."

"Mr. Beluga!" Frowned the chef, "Sir, your eyes are going. Please, sit down and have a glass of water!"

But Mr. Beluga wouldn't listen, "Does this look like chicken to you? THIS IS CLEARLY A PORK CHOP!"

Layton and Luke turned away from the commotion and back at the menu, "Not our fault." They muttered. The waiter approached their table and took their orders. Luke looked up at their waiter, as he watched the fight with a solemn expression on his face. Curious about the pain in his eyes, Luke decided to speak.

"Has Mr. Beluga always been this insane?" Luke asked. There was a hint of sympathy in his voice.

The waiter nodded, "N-not always. You see.. A long time ago, Mr. Belu-"

"RHETORICAL QUESTION." Luke snapped.

The waiter scurried away, and soon came back with two plates of jello and two forks. "Enjoy."

"What the fuck?" Frowned Luke.

"Excuse me, but this isn't what I paid for." Said Layton. "Luke ordered every fucking thing on the menu, and I ordered a salad."

"We only serve flavoured jello here." Said the waiter, pointing to a small sign on the wall that read 'WE ONLY SERVE JELLO.'

"What the HELL? So you're saying that my jello tastes like EVERYTHING on the menu?"

"Yes."

"And Professor's jello tastes like a salad?"

"Yes."

Layton sighed, "My appologizes, sir. Carry on."

The waitor walked off to assist more people. Luke sighed, "Are you REALLY going to let them do this to us, Professor?"

"HELL NO!" Layton pushed his salad jello aside, "Come on, let's get in that kitchen and get some REAL food."

"With pleasure!"

Layton and Luke hopped out of their seats and stompped angrily to the back of the car. Senile Mr. Beluga was long gone by now, leaving the chef he was yelling at in tears. The chef turned to Layton and Luke, "No no no. Get out of the kitchen! Do you want me to get in even more trouble! Besides, look at your clothes. You might bring in all those germs and make our passengers sick!" Luke and Layton looked around at the disorderly kitchen. There were roaches running across the counter tops, and dust collecting on filthy glass plates.

"OUT!" Ordered the chef.

"Now hold on!" Said Layton, "Me and Luke would like a salad, and everything on the men- I mean a cheeseburger."

"Aw what?" Frowned Luke, "I don't want a cheeseburger."

"I'M NOT FUCKING BUYING YOU EVERYTHING ON THE MENU. Get a job, you lazy moocher."

The chef shook his head, "We only make flavoured jello here."

"I just saw Mr. Beluga with a chicken wing!" Luke countered.

"No." Said the chef, "Apparently it was a 'beef-pork chop.' But anyway, real food is only reserved for Mr. Beluga and his nephew, Sammy."

Layton and Luke cursed in unison. They turned to leave, when Luke noticed something.

"OH MY GOD IS THAT AN OBESE HAMPSTER?"

Indeed it was. It was an enormously fat fluffball of a hamster, sitting on the counter, eating real lettuce.

The chef ran in front of it in an attempt to block their view, "It's nothing."

"Sir, why is there a pet in the kitchen?" Frowned Layton.

The chef sighed, "Okay, you got me. The jello made here at the Gruesome Express is.. Made out of hamster."

Layton and Luke said nothing and neither did the chef. The two left the dining car without saying a word.

They encountered the fat bitch from earlier talking to Inspector Chelmey about her missing child, but the two couldn't bring themselves to care. Inspector Chelmey looked up at the two from his place on the ground as he watched them walk away. "I wonder what Gayton's doing here." He said to himself, "And why he has that expression on his face." His mind was on that for only a second. He turned his mangled body back to the fat bitch and resumed his conversation. Next, they encountered Sammy, Beluga's nephew holding some kind of mechanical piece of some sort, but they walked right on passed him without a second glance.

On the way back to their cart, they bumped into a mysterious girl wearing sunglasses indoors and a scarf over her head.

"Oh, hey Flora." Said Luke, "Why are you here?"

The girl gasped.

"You know you should disguise yourself a little better." Said Layton.

Flora frowned, "I.. You weren't supposed to know. I.. I didn't want.. You.." She started to cry, "You left me alone in a village full of.. Full of.."

Layton sighed, "Fine. You can stay."

Flora smiled.

"But the mashed potato box has killed my mentor. So you have to promise me to be extra careful."

Flora nodded.

"Pfft." Luke mumbled to himself, "What a goody two-shoes."

The girl took off her stupid disguise. As soon as she threw away the sunglasses, the train began to shake and rumble, before it fianlly ceased moving all together. Flora fell to the floor, and Luke bounced against the wall. Only Layton managed to keep his balance, "AW SHIT! EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES!"

Just as they were about to run around screaming with their arms in the air, a few of the train's engineers ran past them. They were screaming stuff, but Layton heard "Downed train on the tracks" in their conversation.

Layton sighed in relief, "We're not being ambushed, children. There's something on the track, preventing us to move."

Flora turned to Layton, "So scary men with machine guns aren't going to march in here at any minute, and rape me at gun point?"

"That's right, Flora."

Flora frowned, "Oh." There was a hint of dissapointment in her tone, "Oh, well that's good.. I guess."

"What are we going to do now?" Sighed Luke. "I was looking forward to getting the hell off this train."

"Well since no one else is going to fucking help, I guess it's up to me." Layton muttered. He walked outside the train, where he found Sammy and Mr. Beluga aruging with each other instead of moving the damn car. Layton stepped up to the freight car on the track, took a sliding puzzle out of his hat, and began to work on it. Mysteriously, the freight car disappeared.

"What the fuck? How did that puzzle solve anything?" Frowned one of the engineers.

"NEVER DOUBT THE POWER OF PUZZLE!" Screamed Layton. He returned back to the train, and a few minutes later it was moving again.

The three of them were solving puzzles and talking when the train stopped again at the town of Dropstone. It was a beautiful little village of some sort, and luckily there was a big festival going on, celebrating the town's 50th anniversary.

Layton turned to Sammy who was standing outside the train.

"Hi there, Top-hat dude. Thanks for helping out with the freight car earlier. The name's Sammy Thunder!"

"..Hello.. Sammy. What's going on here?"

Sammy smiled, "Ah well that sudden stop fucked up the brakes, see? So it'll take 3 hours to repair. Why don't you wander around Dropstone, find a nice dealer and get crazy high."

"This train gets worse and worse." Layton muttered under his breath. "Thanks for the information, Sammy."

Layton joined back up with Luke and Flora, who were standing there patiently in front of the enterance to the train.

"What's going on?" Asked his apprentice

"They finally realized the train was fucked up and needed repairs. In the meantime, let's wander around Dropstone."

"To be honest Professor, I don't even remember what we were searching for." Said Luke.

"Me either." Layton shrugged.

* * *

><p>Now that our heroes are off the Gruesome Express, what adventures await them in the village of Dropstone? I don't care, and neither do you. Stay tuned. Or don't stay tuned, whatever! I'm not getting paid for this. See ya next time on Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box!<p> 


	3. Mr Anderson

Last time on Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box..

After realizing the only food on the train is actually some type of jello made from hamster meat, Layton and Luke encounter Flora. Then, the train suddenly runs into a freight car that for some reason is laying in the middle of the track. After solving a puzzle that somehow moves the freight car out of the way, (thanks to video game logic) the Gruesome Express arrives at a country-farm town called Dropstone. And then it ended on a really shitty cliffhanger. OoOoOh the suspence!

The trio weren't even walking for 10 minutes yet and already the Professor was getting on the children's nerves, because for some reason each and everything he saw reminded him of a fucking puzzle.

"Hey Luke! This woman's dress has a pretty pattern. This reminds me of a puzzle. Wanna hear it?"

"No!"

"Ah. Okay then, it's your loss- Hey Flora! that man's hat has a big blue feather. This reminds-."

"No thank you, Professor." replied Flora, "I don't solve puzzles till the third game."

"Hey Luke! T-"

But for Luke, this was the last straw.

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP. NO MORE PUZZLES!"

"NO MORE PUZZLES? NO MORE PUZZLES?" It appears that our dear professor was bugging out. His tiny soulless dot eyes were enormous and popping out of his face. He has a huge throbbing vein on his forehead that was inflating and inflating and inflating...

By now, everyone in Dropstone including Luke and Flora were staring at Layton with an expression of fear and surprise.

"NOOOO MORE PUZZLES?"

"OKAY!" Said Luke. "Okay. We'll solve a few puzzles. Just stop making a scene!"

The professor regained his posture, "Very well, Luke. You see.. A man walked into a bar-"

"That sounds more like a joke than a riddle."

"..As I was saying.. A man walked into a bar..."

While professor went on about the puzzle, the three continued to walk through the festival. The town of Dropstone was small. Everybody knew each other, and the town was surrounded in trees and other green vegetation. But today, the normally quiet streets were filled with stands and venders and all that other good festival shit minus the funnel cake. The sky was blue and the weather was perfect. It was a nice change of scenery from the miserable train ride getting there.

"And eighteen dead bodies remained." Layton finished.

"Damn! I was off by two." Luke giggled at his mistake. He forgot to carry the radical over the sheep.

Layton nodded, "Cheer up, my boy. There's always next time."

"Bite me." Luke muttered.

"Anyway about the mashed potato box you were talking about..?" Said Flora.

"The what?" Frowned Layton. He and Luke had identical expressions of confusion.

"Oh you know girls, Professor. They're bat shit crazy."

"I am not!" Snapped Flora. "The mashed potato box that killed Professor's mentor! Do you remember?"

"Oh DUH!" Luke laughed. "Did you know how crazy you sound?"

Layton laughed too, "You had me scared."

Flora rolled her eyes, "How are we gonna search for clues out here in Dropstone?"

"Well, you can find what you want in the least likely of places."

"You're saying that because you don't want to get back on the train, Professor!"

"Precisely." Smiled Layton.

So, they continued to walk around. As they walked, Luke and Flora began to get more curious about the festival here. The three stopped in front of a large banner tied to two light posts.

"So that's what this is about.." Said Layton, "Dropstone's 50th Anniversary."

Flora turned to the Professor, "Uh.. Uh.. I've never been to a festival before and.. I.. I'm getting fairly bored of walking around aimlessly.. And.. I was wondering if I.."

"SAME!" Luke intterupted, "Come on, let's blow this joint."

The two walked away to a random booth, leaving Professor sad and alone. But little did Layton know, that something was lurking him from the shadows with a very terrifying smirk. The alone time gave Layton a chance to think. The mashed potato box? Where did he hear something like that before. And.. That woman's hair. Her hair resembles something... It.. Closely resembles a puzzle. Yeah that's right. It reminds him of... A puzzle. Unfortunately, all thoughts about the mashed potato box were thrown out of the window at that point.

Meanwhile, Luke was helping a woman get a bird out of a hole and she awarded him with a tea set.

"..What the hell do I look like?" Luke frowned. He gave it to Flora.

"What do I do with this?" Flora frowned.

"YOU'RE A GIRL. You should know how to make tea. Go on. Serve me something sweet."

"I-I'll try.."

The tea set came with a bunch of herbs and other strange things Flora had never seen in her life. But Luke was staring at her, and she didn't want to let him down. She tried mixing things together and using some dirt on the ground to make the tea have a bit of a flavour. She threw the herbs and a couple blades of grass by mistake. Luke looked in horror as Flora brewed one of the most disturbing things he has ever seen. She held it out to him with an accomplished smile.

"NO!"

"..Aw.. Aw come on.." She started to cry, "I.. I worked so hard!"

"HELL NO. FLORA THERE'S A WORM IN IT." 

"It's.. It's for flavour!"

"GET THAT OUT OF MY FACE!"

"Oh please please pleaaaaaaaaaaase!"

"NO!"

Flora wept. She tried to dry her eyes but the tears kept coming. Sighing, Luke took the cup. With trembling hands he put it to his lips and took a sip. That's when Flora grabbed him by the shoulder and forced the entire drink down his mouth with her other hand.

Flora laughed maniacally, "THAT'S FOR BEING SEXIST, YOU JERK!"

Then the lights went out.

When Luke finally came to, he was staring back up at Professor from his place on the ground. He rubbed his aching temples, "Professor, Flora poisoned me.."

Flora frowned, "I.. I didn't mean to make him that sick. He was being sexist!"

"I was kidding!"

"CHILDREN! Stop arguing. Now come on, we got.. ..Uh.. Things to do. Like uh.."

"Like find the mashed potato box..?" Said Flora.

"Yeah that. Can you stand, Luke?"

Luke leaned over and barfed out the tea. Then he stood up, "Yeah. Oh, I don't feel so good. I'm nauseous."

"Come on," Layton muttered, "Let's get back to the train."

"That's going to make me feel even worse.."

The three started to walk back to the Gruesome Express despite Luke's protesting. On the way to the train they walked past a big crowd of people. But what really attracted them were the big cow balloons.

"What is this?" Asked Luke, already feeling the sickness leave his system, "It looks awesome! Are they celebrating steak?"

"You fat bastard." Frowned Layton, "You're sick as a dog but the only thing you feel like doing is to just eat all day long using MY money!"

Luke ran over to the crowd, "Hey Professor it's a Livestock competition."

Reluctantly, Layton and Flora followed Luke to the event. There was a big stage and lots of colourful balloons.

"Ey you!" A man called out.

Layton turned to this mysterious man, "..Hello. Are you here to watch this competition as well?"

"Nah, I just noticed. You're new to dropstone. You must be from that terrible train. What a stupid shit you are, riding such a fucked up train."

Layton rolled his eyes, "Yes. It's a decision I will regret for the rest of my life."

"Say, I'm gonna tell you a thing or two about our village, just for the sake of pushing along the story!"

"Excellent." Layton mumbled.

"There's a man named Mr. Anderson here that basicaly runs Dropstone."

Layton sighed, "You don't say? Look, not that I'm not interest-"

"And he even treats us mailmen with kindness and and respect."

"You're a mailman and you called ME a stupid shit?-"

"And I suggest you talk to him, you stupid hunk of shit! He spends all his days talking about his daughter or something. Anyway, these suspicious police from London came up to his house and it was quite weird. One of them was sorta like a spiral. Musta took a nasty beating I might say. He would crawl around on the ground. And al-"

"Will you please excuse me, I lost track of my apprentice Luke." Layton scurried away from the annoying mailman dragging Flora with him, deeper into the crowd. Flora looked back, "Professor! The mailman is still talking! He's talking to himself! If you ask me, that isn't very gentlemanly."

"Flora. A gentleman always disrespects a mailman."

"But that Mr. Anderson gu-"

"THAT MR. ANDERSON GUY IS A QUACK."

"Professor.. Are you.. Afraid of mailmen?"

_afraid of mailmen?_

Layton trembled, "D-daddy.."

_"Hershel hurry! This way!"_

_"Daddy I'm scared! The mailmen are coming!"_

_"Son, Listen to me.. I want you to run back that way as fast as you can."  
>"But.. But what about you?"<em>

_"Take good care of your mother."_

_"BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU DAD?"_

_"JUST GO, HERSHEL. Save yourself. And.. Watch.. The envelopes.. And.. Papercuts."_

_"DAAAADDDYY!"_

"Professor!" Flora shouted, with a look of concern. "Professor are you alright?"

Layton shuddered, "Yeah... I'm alright now. The murdering mailmen will never harm another innocent town again."

"What?"

"Nothing. Let's go find Luke." 

"Okay."

When they finally caught up to Luke, he seemed sad. "Professor! The event didn't start yet. Now what should we do?"

"Well, Luke since you look like you're feeling much better why don't we... Look.. for the uh.. The box that killed what's-his-name."

"Maybe we should talk to that Mr. Anderson guy?" Flora suggested.

"Mr. Anderson?"

A woman in a maid's dress looked up. "Why, I'm one of Mr. Anderson's maids. And I'm afraid you're not going to be able to talk to him."

"And why not?" Asked Luke.

"Because he's bitching about his daughter. She's plotting on sneaking out because of some shit her senile old granny said. I don't know much but whatever! She's paying me to keep my mouth shut! Oh fuck! There goes the secret."

Layton frowned, "Wow. Well.. Thank you for that tidbit of information. Come on, let's go to Mr Anderson's manor anyway."

"You take a right at Hinaberry street!" Said the maid.

The three didn't get very far when they saw Inspector Chelmey and his assistant Barton walking down the street. Or in Chelmey's case, inching.

"Well well well. Look what we have here! It's Pedophile Gayton and his two sex toys."

"I'M NOT A PEDOPHILE. AND IT'S LAYTON!"

"How was Mr. Anderson?" Flora interjected.

"He's not even fucking home!" Chelmey replied, "He's at some fucking livestock competition or some crazy shit. Me and Barton were about to find a dealer and get crazy high."

"But you're a police officer- Nevermind. What were you doing in Mr. Anderson's house?" Asked Layton.

"ARE YOU MY WIFE? Does it matter? Maybe I wanted to invite him to a disco. Does it make you jealous that we're going to solve the mystery before YOU are, Gayton?" Chelmey laughed, "NOW YOU WILL REGRET EVER DOUBTING THE GREAT MASTERMIND ALSO KNOWN AS CHELMEY! Let's go Barton!" Chelmey began to crawl away.

Barton looked up at Layton, "I'M FED UP. I ONLY GET A BIGGER ROLE IN THE THIRD GAME! LIKE WHAT THE HELL? So I'll let you in on a little secret... There's a little rumour going around saying that Mr. Anderson tried to find the Mashed Potato box in the past."

"BARTON!" Chelmey called out. "I know you think I'm awesome but STOP GLOATING ABOUT ME TO GAYTON. We got crack to snort."

Barton rolled his eyes, "Yes, Chelmey The Great!" He rejoined Chelmey.

"So.. What do you think?" Asked Layton. "Do we go back to the damn event we just left?"

"I guess." Sighed Luke. "Gee, what a waste of fucking time."

When they came back, the competition was already beginning to start. "Let's keep an eye out for Mr. Anderson!" Said Layton.

Flora noticed something rather odd. "Look! Those two men are arguing! We gotta help."

And Flora was right. There was a short man, around the same height as Luke, and a taller man. The short one was doing all the barking.

"Why?" Layton sighed in response to Flora's question.

But Flora ran up to them anyway so the two had no choice to follow.

"LOOK AT MY COW! THIS ISN'T THE SAME COW!" Screamed some short man, "THIS COW IS BUTT UGLY. YOU SWAPPED MY COW."

The taller man sighed, "Can you point out which cow is yours?"

"I DON'T KNOW THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME!"

"Then how do you know it's not your cow?"

"CAUSE I'M TELLING YOU THIS AINT MY COW."

"What's the problem here?" Asked Flora.

"I don't know. Shorty here is saying some one swapped his cow with another. I don't know how we're going to start the contest with him bitching like this."

"Luke here has a thing with animals." Smiled Flora. "He might be able to help out!"

"What?" Frowned Luke.

"Go on, Luke. Try it."

Luke walked up to the cows.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cried one of the cows.

"MOOOO!" Cried another.

Luke walked back up to Layton, "I GOT IT!" He pointed to a random cow. "THAT'S the cow!"

"Hey you're right!" Said the short man. "That IS my cow. Thanks little boy."

Layton smiled as the man walked off. He turned to his apprentice, "Well done Luke! How on Earth did you do it?"

"I DON'T FUCKING SPEAK COW! I just picked out anything and the stupid shit believed it."

Well, the three watched the rather boring competition and the tall man from before won. Which wasn't really much of a surprise. The short guy was acting like a total dick so I guess he deserved it. When it as finally over the three searched around for Mr. Anderson.

"Well this fucking sucks." Said Layton. "It's not even like we know what he looks like."

"Excuse me little boy.." Flora said, walking up to a random little boy, "We're looking for Mr. Anderson."

"Hey sweetcheeks." The boy smirked. "Why don't we ditch this festival and have a festival of our own?"

Flora blushed, "Well.. Okay. But.. I want to be on top."

Layton coughed, "Ahem."

"Oh. Uh.. Can you point out Mr. Anderson first?"

"Okay. But first you gotta solve this puzzle."

"Why?"

"Because EVERYONE in this town has a fucking puzzle they can't solve."

"Well.. I understand everyone in St. Mystere having a puzzle they can't solve, but why on Eart-"

"SHUT UP AND SOLVE MY PUZZLE."

After solving a time consuming puzzle, the boy pointed to Mr. Anderson.

Mr Anderson was a short man with a suit, a cane and a hat. He a mustache-beard combo and white little gloves.

"Isn't he a real gentlemen?" Smiled the boy. He turned to Flora, "Now sweet thin-"

Layton grabbed Flora by her collar and dragged her over to Mr. Anderson with Luke following from behind.

"MR ANDERSON!" Layton shouted. "We have something to ask you!"

"Well.." Said Mr. Anderson, "Ask away.."

"What do you know.. About the Mashed Potato Box?"

What does Mr. Anderson know about the Mashed Potato Box? Find out next time on Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato box!


	4. Onward to Folsense!

**Hey Chiihuahua! What the fuck happened to you?**

Uhm.. I can explain. You see, I wanted to play that Nexon game Mabinogi but my computer lacked the space so I wiped the entire thing clean.

Oh and..

Anonymous 7/22 ch1

This is one of the dumbest thinngs I've ever read. If this is your first fanfic, I hope it's your last. This garbage should not even exist to clutter the fanfiction universe, let alone be reproduced.

LMAO! THIS MADE MY DAY.

Anyway this is getting longer than the story itself..

**Last time on Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box:**

Flora, Luke, and Professor Layton decide to look around Dropstone for clues about the Mashed Potato Box. They find out that a man named Mr. Anderson may be one of the biggest clues yet because apparently he once searched for the Mashed Potato Box himself. So the gang confronts him and...

* * *

><p>Mr. Anderson looked up at the trio. His expression went from a neutral one to a sad one. With a shuddery voice he asked, "W-Why do you need to know this?"<p>

Layton frowned, "Because the Mashed Potato Box has killed my mentor."

Mr. Anderson looked down, the brim of his beige hat shadowed his distressed face, "Very well then. You need to know about this more than I do. You see.."

_anata no hou ga shitte ita watashi ga daiji ni shiteta mono_

"Whoa WAIT!" Frowned Layton. He looked around, "Where the HELL is that music coming from?"

Luke looked around as well, "I don't know!"

"Guys STOP!" Said Flora, "This is important and the mystery depends on this! Don't you want to know what happened to Professor's mentor?"

"Okay. But this whole music thing is just getting freaky." Luke muttered.

Layton coughed, "Ahem.. Carry on, Mr. Anderson."

Mr. Anderson sighed, "My mother searched for the Mashed Potato box. Not my real mother of course-My mother in law. My real mother died a long time ago when I was a baby."

_mata aeru koto wo shinjite yakusoku mosezunite wo futta_

Layton darted his eyes around the area, and Luke was on the ground looking under the bench Mr. Anderson was sitting on for the source of the strange singing.

"My mother in law Sophia founded this village! Marrying into her family was the best thing I have ever done, because she treated me so kindly, even when my wife died. Even though my Sophia looked all over the place for that.. For that Mashed Potato Box... She.."

_shasou wa nagare dasu keshiki no furemu sotto sotto hajimari wo utsushi dashi hajimeru_

Luke took Mr. Anderson's hat off of his head, revealing the large and shiny baldspot. He peered inside of the hat but the source of the music wasn't there either.

Flora rolled her eyes, "Continue."

Mr. Anderson snatched back his hat in one quick motion and put it back on top of his head, "She never found it. She died last year, leaving even more questions. I don't know why she wanted to find that box so much."

Flora sympathetically put her hand on his shoulder, "Please, sir. I'm sorry for your loss. Is that all you know about the box?"

"Yes. I can't be of more help to you on the subject. But.. Listen. If you three run into my daughter, Katia.. I would like for you to tell her to go to her father immediately. I-"

Layton looked up from his place on the floor. He was checking under a couple of rocks. "It stopped. The music's gone."

"It'll be back." Said Luke.

Flora rubbed her aching forehead as Mr. Anderson slipped away from the group while they were distracted. "Are you two done being insensitive and stupid now?"

Layton frowned, "Well when you put it like that, I sound more like a jerk than a gentleman."

"YOU THINK? The guy's mother-in-law died last year! The woman shaped this beautiful village into what it is today and you guys care more about some stupid background music- WHERE ARE YOU GOING? WHY ARE YOU WALKING AWAY?"

Quickly pacing away from the nagging Flora, the two looked back at her as she screamed at them.

"Nag, nag, nag. Is that all what girls are good for?" Said Luke.

"Whatever. Let's just go back to the train and leave her here." Said Layton.

"COME BACK HERE PROFESSOR!" Flora cried out, "LUKE! COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Layton immediately started to run and Luke soon followed suit.

"JUST KEEP RUNNING LUKE, SHE'LL GET THE MESSAGE."

"RIGHT PROFESSOR!"

Flora screamed in fustration, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE-MMMPHH" A big hand reached out from behind the small girl and pressed a damp and strange smelling thick rag over her face. She tried to fight against the plausible rapist and his super grip, but she quickly lost consciousness and landed on the grassy ground with a thud. The man grabbed onto her body by her arms and nosily dragged her behind a large tree.

Luke and Layton made it to the station. The train seemed like it was good enough for it to depart-For Gruesome Express standards atleast. Sammy stood in front of the train and stared at the two long and hard, "Whoaaa! Aren't you missing a girl, dude? Like, what happened to her?" He asked

"Here I am!" Came a high pitched voice.

Luke and Layton jumped at the sound. They turned around.

Flora grew a couple of feet since they last saw her. She was as tall as Layton-Just as big, too. Her figure was all broad and manly, complete with thick black hairs on her legs. She took a large hand to her thick black mustache and played around with the edge. She giggled, the dirty hair on her chin bobbed up and down with her.

"Flora! What the hell happened to YOU?" Layton frowned.

"Ohh you know." Replied Flora. Her high voice was cracking, revealing a deeper and manlier tone underneath, "It's that time of the month again."

"That's gross." Frowned Luke.

"Oh you have no idea! It's the most awkward time of a woman's life!" She batted her really long eyelashes.

"Really? What exactly happens?" Luke asked

"LUKE! Gentlemen don't ask questions about such disgusting things! It's bad enough that Flora has to LOOK like that. Please don't question her horrifyingly GROSS condition."

"Listen to the professor!" Flora said, shaking a fat finger. "Now, I overheard some guy named Romie is asking around about the Mashed Potato Box! He's over here by the station somewhere."

"The what?" Layton frowned

"THE MASHED POTATO BOX YOU- I mean.. You know. The box that killed Schrader!"

"Oh that!" Said Luke. "Let's go ask around for this Romie guy, then."

Sure enough after they searched the platform long enough they found an older man dressed up as an explorer, complete with a big brown backpack. He looked at Flora in shock, "WH-WHAT IS THAT? IS THAT A MAN?"

"Hey! Don't talk about Flora like that!" Said Luke, "It's her time of the month!"

"Yes it's really embarassing-" Flora said quickly, "NOW! What do you know about the Mashed Potato Box?"

"Ah yes!" Said Romie, "It's a box that kills people."

Layton rolled his eyes, "You don't say?"

"Yeah it's freaky. I learned about it along with the rumours about that inviso-town."

"Inviso-town?" Luke asked

"Yeah. This town that's not on any map only the Gruesome Express goes to. That's why I'm on the train. Maybe the box has something to do with it!"

"OH PROFESSOR!" Said Luke, "Can we please please please go to the inviso-town? I really really really want to see what an invisible town is like!"

Layton shrugged, "Yeah. How about we just dump the mystery of that boring box and just do the mystery of the inviso-town instead?"

"Sounds like a plan!" Said Luke.

"NO NO NO!" Said Flora, "We need to find the BOX. The inviso-town is just a.. Detour."

"Everyone who wants to go to the inviso-town and screw that stupid box say 'I'!" Said Luke

Both Layton and Luke exclaimed 'I' at the very same time.

"HAH! LOSER! We out-vote you. That means WE'RE going to the Inviso-town! WOOOO!" Luke ran towards the train and Layton followed.

"IMBECILES!" Flora yelled. But reluctantly, she walked behind them anyway

The trio stopped abruptly when they noticed a pretty young woman with short purple hair get on one of the other carts. She had lovely green eyes and smiled at the crowd that was so tearful at her departure. She turned to Layton and Luke and stared at the professor's eyes.

She let out a startled scream. "W-where's that man's eye-whites? Where are his irises? Where are the retinas?"

The Professor pulled down the rim of his hat and looked away.

"HOW IS HE SEEING? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?" The woman went on. "IT'S.. HE'S A FREAK! IT'S A FREAK OF NATURE! LET ME OFF OF THIS TRAIN! I WANT OFF!"

The crowd of people sending the girl off got behind her and and tried pushed her onto the woman fought back with all her strength, "NO! I don't want to go on the crazy train!"

Luke, Layton and Flora got onto the train and back into their fucked up cabin. After a while, the train took off and they were on the move again. The group was discussing how they were going to find the inviso-town since the town was invisible and it was on no map.

"Well, the crew would know more about this than anything." Said Layton. "It's their train."

Standing around in the cleaner corner with the luggage was beginning to get a bit tiring. Luke looked up, "Professor, I don't suppose you could buy me another meal of hamster?"

"Only if your stomach is ready for that, Luke."

"Oh it is! I didn't eat anything today. I'm ready to eat like.. 5,000 hamsters!"

"That's certainly gross, my boy." But, Layton decided to take Luke to the dining car.

Layton turned to Flora, "Do you want to come?"

"Oh no!" She said, "I simply can't! Hamsters give me cramps!"

"Uhm. Ew. But if you insist." Layton and Luke left Flora alone in the cabin and walked down the sickening hall of the train and into the dining car. It was completely and totally empty compared to before. The waiter from before was there and he scowled, "We're not open right now."

"Ran out of hamster?" Luke joked.

"Actually yes, but we're using children as substitute. We're actually closed because of the long tunnel we'll be going through on our trip to Luxenbelle. It's going to be very dark and we don't want a lot of rich snoody people running around in the dark now do we?"

"Gee that's stupid! What are we going to do, Professor? I'm really hungry."

The waiter looked at Luke, "How old is your boy?"

The Professor frowned, "Uhm.. That's a very interesting question. He's somewhere between like.. 8 to 12 years old."

"Yeah, something like that." Said Luke.

"Perfect. And how much does he weigh?" The waitor had a strange twinkle in his eye. He approached Luke with measuring tape and grabbed his arm. He started to measure the length of the arm from the fingertips to the shoulder. "This looks like good meat."

Layton frowned, "You're SERIOUS about the children sub thing?"

"Indeed. I would like to buy the boy off of you."

"Hm really?" Layton took out his wallet, "How much are you selling him for? I could use 100.."

"YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO SELL ME PROFESSOR?" Luke yelled, "YOU'RE GOING TO SELL ME TO THIS.. BUTCHER?"

"Now, now boy! I'm a waiter. The butcher is in the back room." The waiter grabbed Luke's chin, "100? 100 for something as succulent as this? That's pratically stealing from you, sir."

"You're right. Luke is awfully fat. How abo-"

"PROFESSOR! PLEASE DON'T!"

"Oh, I'm only KIDDING Luke. Let's go." The professor grabbed Luke and pulled him away from the cannibal.

"I'm afraid you can't go. We have a very low supply on children and we won't have anymore before Luxenbelle. We do need your boy. Now hand him over."

"NO YOU SICK CANNIBAL!" Luke yelled.

The waiter picked up a knife, "We can do this the hard way, or the easy way."

"PFFT! What's a knife gonna do-" But Layton quickly stopped himself as the waiter threw the knife with Ninja-like speed RIGHT over the top-hat, nearly touching it. The blade was wedged into the wall. "I'm the dart champion of the world!" Said the waitor. He spread out the five fingers on his hand, and there was a knife resting in between each one. "Try me."

"HOLY SHIT LUKE! RUN!"

Layton and Luke quickly turned around and bolted. They had to duck while they ran as kitchen knives flew over their heads. Flora ran into the halls, "WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING?"

The two ran right past her.

"RUN FLORA RUN! HE'S AFTER CHILDREN!" Said Luke.

Flora looked at the waiter who was running right at her with a sadistic look in his eyes and knives in his hands. She quickly followed after her sprinting companions.

"YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER!" The waiter yelled.

"HE'S RIGHT YOU KNOW!" Said Luke. He was panting heavily and slowing down, "I'M EXHAUSTED!"

"FINE LET HIM TAKE YOU. He's after you and Flora! The hell am I running for!"

"Professor no! I'm sorry!"

The trio ended up running into a dead end. There was a strange lock on the door.

"This door leads to the deluxe car!" Said Layton. "And the lock is a puzzle."

"HURRY AND SOLVE IT PROFESSOR!" Luke cried. "WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME!"

Layton nodded. He quickly went to work. But it wasn't fast enough.

"HURRY!" Flora yelled in her deep manly voice, "HURRY YOU MORON! HE'S GETTING CLOSER!"

"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!" Layton barked, "CALM DOWN!" He went to work sliding the symbols on the lock this way and that.

The waiter stopped dead in his tracks, facing the three.

"Few things satisfy like a puzzle solved!" Said Layton. The door opened up with a 'pop' noise.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" The waiter threw all the knives in his posession at the trio but they quickly ran into the deluxe car and shut the door. Luke locked it, then he quickly stepped back.

The door was quickly covered in spikey blades, where the knives penetrated through the surface. Luckily, nobody was harmed.

They looked around, "Wow.. The.. The deluxe cars.." Said Luke.

...

Look just like the normal cars 'cept there were shit stains on the wall that said 'DELUXE'

"Very posh." Said Layton.

The three leaned over and tried to catch their breaths from all the running they did.

"Actually, is anyone feeling a bit.. Sleepy?" Said Flora.

"Yeah, it's because we're all hungry and they ran out of food!" Said Luke.

"NO YOU FAT MOR- I mean.. No! It's not that. I think it's something else. I thi-" Flora got down on the ground. She yawned, "I'm going to take a nap, actually."

Luke yawned too, "Yeah. That doesn't sound like a bad idea all the sudden."

Layton nodded. They both joined Flora on the ground and went to sleep.

The train let out a loud horn. The Gruesome Express went right into the long tunnel and with a powerful noise, the deluxe car switched tracks.

"EVERYBODY WAKE UP!" Came Sammy's voice, "THE NEXT STOP IS FOLSENSE!"

* * *

><p>What exactly happens to our lovable puzzle-solving crew in FOLSENSE? I don't know come back next week or something for the next exciting installment of Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box! IT'S CANNABALISTIC!3<p> 


	5. Outrageous Fortune

**A rather interesting review**;

I believe I love this more than I should. I love this so much, I'm afraid I am

becoming a sick freak. Meh, screw it, sick freaks have more fun. You know,

some parodies are really stupid and have people randomly coming out of nowhere

and have really uncalled for moments. What I love about this fic, is that it's

really, REALLY well-written. I really hope you continue!

P.S. The **eating children thing **made me **fall out of my chair, laughing.**

Dude that's _beyond_ fucked up.

I really appreciate reviews though so keep them coming. They actually motivate me to write.

Anyway here's the obligatory recap.

**Last time on Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box:**

After learning about an invisible town that's not on any map and after Flora suddenly gets her period, the gang gets chased into the deluxe half of the Gruesome Express and wind up in a town called Folsense. Could this be the mysterious town?

"FOLSENSE EVERYBODY! LET ME HERE YOU SCREAAAAAA-" Sammy was suddenly knocked on his back by an angry Professor Layton.

"SHUT UP! WHAT YOU DOING RUNNING THROUGH THE HALLS SCREAMING ANYWAY?"

Sammy frowned, "I'm sorry, dude. I was just trying to tell everybody that we're in Folsense now, bro. It's my job."

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE."

"Okay dude. I'm sorry." Sammy got up. He slouched over, red in the face from embarrassment. He slowly walked away in the opposite direction.

Professor Layton returned to the ground next to his two sleeping companions and went back to sleep.

When he finally woke up, it was dark outside. He went over to Luke and shook him until he was awake and did the same to Flora.

"What happened?" Asked Luke. "The train is a lot quieter than it used to be."

"The train must have stopped." Said Flora. She turned to the professor, "Layto-.. Professor, where are we?"

"Uh.. Folsense."

Luke frowned, "Where? I've never heard of that place before."

"Well we've never heard of Dropstone before either."

"Weren't we going to Luxenbelle? Did we miss it?" Flora picked herself off the ground. "Do any of you have a map?"

"I probably do." Luke went into his pocket and for the sake of convenience, pulled out a train map. "What the.. There's NO SUCH THING as Folsense. The Gruesome Express doesn't go to Folsense!" He sat up right and handed Layton the map.

"Why are you giving this thing to me like I'm supposed to know the answers?"

"YOU'RE the adult!"

Layton went into his pocket and pulled out the train's ticket. He smirked, "Oh Luke! The ticket was a puzzle ALLLLL along."

"ARE YOU FOR REAL?"

Layton folded up the ticket and lined up the set of numbers. "It says, 'For Folsense.'"

Flora smiled, "Oh great! This might lead us closer to the mystery of the Mashed Potato Box- AND BEFORE YOU SAY 'OH WHAT'S THAT'- It's the box that killed your mentor."

Layton looked honestly confused, "I have a mentor?"

Flora sighed in frustration.

"HEY! Folsense is the inviso-town!" Said Luke, "LET'S GO!"

Layton and Luke ran off the train and Flora followed slowly from behind, shaking her head in shame.

The train station was dark and was only illuminated by the cruddy streetlights from the outside coming from the crack in the door. The only other thing besides the exit that was bright enough to see were a collection of dirty pictures that were framed on the walls. If you shined a light them, you would see that they were photographs of the town and that those pictures were probably around for more than a decade.

The steps of our heroes as they walked through the trainstation echoed. Flora's giant manly arm was holding onto Layton's, and Luke's lip quivered in fear. As soon as they got in front of the door a horrible feeling overwhelmed all three of them. Something was rattling around in the very pits of their stomachs.

"I feel so dizzy!" Cried Luke.

"LAYTON!" Flora yelled.

The Professor had stumbled onto the floor, pulling Flora with him.

"You FUCKER!" Flora yelled from her place on the ground.

Luke laughed at the two as they struggled to pick themselves up.

"You're the one grabbing on to MY arm with that suspiciously manly grip!" Layton yanked Flora's hand off of his arm and steadied himself.

"Come on!" Said Luke, "The sooner we get out of this creepy room the better!"

The three went out the door and into the town.

The town of Folsense was dark and gloomy. It had a haunted-house-halloween like feel to it, that sent shivers down the trio's spines. There was an unsettling feeling in the atmosphere as well, like something was watching them. All of the glowing windows in the houses felt as if they were eyes. The houses were decorated in some kind of christmas lights and in the horizon was a giant silhouette of a castle, which was surrounded in trees.

Standing on the steps of the entrance to the station, the powerful overwhelming feeling from before returned, and when they turned around to look back at the station- The old run down building turned atleast 30 years younger right before their eyes.

Luke opened his mouth to speak, but Layton shook his head. "My boy. Sometimes it's best not to question strange things you don't understand."

"No, Professor. I just think it's the hunger. We really haven't eaten anything from the entire journey and now we're dying of starvation."

"SHUT UP YOU FAT PIG. YOU JUST WANT TO EAT."

_**Following the rumours**_ _**of the Mashed Potato Box, the professor, Luke, and Flora set foot in a straaaange town.**_

"WHY IS THERE SUDDENLY A NARRATOR?" Luke yelled.

_**But cautious as they were, nothing could have prepared them for the events to follow.**_

"What the FUCK?" Frowned Layton, "What's THAT supposed to mean?"

"We can always just look around. We might find some interesting clues about the Mashed Potato Box." Said Flora.

"Speaking about Mashed Potatoes, I'm STARVING. Maybe we can go find something to eat." Luke suggested.

The professor nodded and the trio began to walk through the weird town of Folsense. The more they walked through the streets the more depressed and tired they felt.

"Look, there's a Hotel." Said the Professor after they've walked long enough. "Let's stop there." They checked themselves in and got a modestly sized room with some pretty dusty furniture. After eating ACTUAL food, Flora started to make unrealistic moaning sounds at the table.

"What's wrong, Flora?" Luke asked.

"I feel.. I feel so sick. It's my period. Can I stay here and not go outside?"

Layton looked at Flora, "You want to stay alone in a strange town that's constantly changing before our eyes?"

"Yeah."

Layton shrugged, "Okay then." He turned to Luke, "Let's go look for clues about.. That box. Or something.. I don't know."

They both got out of their seats.

"We'll be back soon, Flora." Said Luke.

Back outside, the professor and his apprentice started to walk through the quiet and nearly deserted cobblestoned streets.

"HEY!" Some guy yelled at them.

They both turned around, "Uhm.. Hello." Said the professor.

The random person was slightly older than Luke and was wearing a similar blue hat. "I've never seen you guys around here before. You guys after that Herzen fortune too?"

Money signs lit up in the eyes of our heroes.

"Fortune, you say?" Said Luke. "Pure, beautiful fortune?"

"Nothing but!" The guy smiled.

The Professor felt himself getting all giddy. He excitedly bounced up and down, "Tell us more!"

"Well, a long time ago Duke Herzen found a whole bunch of gold! A WHOLE LOT OF GOLD!"

"GOLD!" Luke excitedly exclaimed, "WHERE IS IT?"

"YES!" Layton added in ,"TELL US!"

The guy laughed, "Easy, easy. The old man died and now his fortune is resting up in that castle. The big spooky one in the horizon. It's a pain to get to, though. You guys take care, now and enjoy your stay in the lovely town of Folsense." He walked off.

"MONEY, Luke!" Said Layton, "MONEY. HERE. UNGUARDED. IN A CASTLE!"

"I know, Professor! We got to go GET IT."

"COME ON LUKE LET'S START CHASING THAT HORIZON!"

The two started running with huge happy grins and images of shiny, shiny bars of beautiful gold in their minds. But they ended up walking in on a rather strange conversation with Mr. Beluga and his nephew Sammy down by a street corner.

"I SWEAR IT'S HERE IN THIS TOWN!" Yelled Mr. Beluga. "YOU JUST GOTTA FIND IT."

"WHAT is in this town?" Sammy frowned, "Bro! You're driving me insane."

"GO LOOK FOR IT!"

"I don't know what I'm looking for!"

"WHO ARE YOU?"

"I'm.. Your nephew Sammy."

"Oh. GO LOOK FOR IT!"

Sammy sighed, "Yes Uncle." He walked past Luke and Layton who were watching the scene unfold. He kept walking down the block.

"Luke!" Layton grabbed Luke's arm and pulled him into the shadows. "Listen." He whispered, "I think they're after the gold, too."

"AW HELL NO THAT'S OUR-"

"Luke, SSSSH. We can't let them know that we know! They'll dispose of us and keep all that money to themselves."

"You're absolutely right, Professor. I'll keep quiet. And we can't tell Flora about this either. You KNOW how much of a goody-goody she is, right? She'd tell everybody and expect us to SHARE it."

"GOLD ISN'T FOR SHARING!"

"Professor, SSSH! So it's agreed then? We search for the treasure and then we get the hell out of here?"

Layton nodded, "We'll hide it in my trunk."

"Sounds like a plan!"

The two turned around but they noticed something odd sitting on the stone streets that they didn't notice before with all of that excitement for gold. It was a small, but very thick book with many locks jutting out from the pages.

"Is that a DIARY?" Luke frowned. He picked it up. The light purple, leathery cover had an image of a goat on the front. "What do we do with this?"

"I don't know. Let's just keep it. Maybe it has something to do with the gold? Or that other thing we were searching for. That box?"

"Oh yeah that dumb stupid box. We might as well solve that mystery already, because Flora's going to just nag about it. Let's go visit that antique shop to get it examined. THEN we search for that beautiful gold."

"She'd probably find it suspicious that we would just leave Folsense without figuring out the other mystery. She'd find the gold that way and force us to share." Layton agreed.

On their way to the antique shop, Luke decided to read the first page of the diary since it came already unlocked. "Professor what the fuck? Who's diary is this? Listen to this." The boy cleared his throat. The page was old and brown and written neatly in sparkly dark purple ink.

_"There was a beautiful girl at the ball last night. She was almost as pretty as me. And it was the strangest thing-She knew I was absolutely pretty! Why didn't she call me a pretty boy like everyone else did?"_

They both bursted out laughing after Luke read it aloud.

"Man, somebody is superficial."

"Capital S!" Luke agreed.

At the antique shop, they were absolutely surprised and also disturbed to see their favourite mangled policeman, worming about on the floor.

"WELL WELL WELL, If it isn't PROFESSOR GAYTON and the SHOTA KID."

"That sounds like a porno." Said Layton.

"I FOUND OUT THAT THE MASHED POTATO BOX AND FOLSENSE IS LINKED! All on my own with NO HELP from Barton! I AM THE GREATEST INSPECTOR OF ALLLLLLLLLLLL TIME."

Luke rolled his eyes.

"YOU'LL BE SEEING ME IN THE PAPERS BACK IN LONDON!" The Inspector crawled out of the door, creating a trail of blood.

The two approached the man in charge of the antique shop and showed him the book.

The older man laughed, "I thought you were going to ask me about that box again. Three people asked me about it today. That badly injured man who should probably get medical attention, his short detective friend, and a beauutiful girl. She doesn't live here because I've never seen her before. You know, if you guys were looking for the box, I would tell you to go look for more information at the museum but you aren't so I'm not much help at all. Oh yeah that book.."

"WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT US TO FIND THAT FREAKING BOX?" Screamed Luke, "He's basically telling us to go to the museum! I don't want to look for that stupid box! I want the treasure!"

The man scowled, "This is a very old book and there are locks."

The professor frowned, "Do we honestly have to go to the museum?"

"Locks open with keys." He gave them a key. Then he walked away to dust off some antiques.

"Wow." Said Luke.

"Let's go to the museum, then." His mentor said reluctantly.

_"As I stared at my dashing locks in my mirror, I remembered that girl from the ball again. I bumped into her today and yelled at her for scruffing my perfect new loafers, and as punishment, I took out my whip and gag ball-"_ Luke read during the walk. The boy stopped when he noticed the Professor did and looked up from the book.

There was a large, round, dark gray dog, wearing a diaper with big drooping cheeks. It was growling and approaching them. Thick drool leaked from the side of it's open mouth and blood stained the tips of it's large and sharp triangular teeth.

"You speak to animals. You talk to it." Said Layton.

"N-no I don't! I told you, I was just making stuff up earlier about the cows."

"Nonsense, Luke." The dog walked closer and closer, "See? It wants to be friends."

"PROFESSOR! IT'S SNARLING AT ME!"

"Not snarling! SMILING!" The professor pushed the boy in front of the crazed pitbull.

"N-nice doggy." Luke put on a nervous smile, "Nice, nice, doggy." He turned to Layton, "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU IF I GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE."

Layton proceeded to back up, because as soon as Luke turned around to face the dog again, it jumped up and landed on top of him.

"PROFESSOR!" Luke cried. The dog's spit dropped onto his face and the warm and disgusting smelling breath was too close for comfort. The dog's hungry mouth and starving tongue danced in front of Luke's nose, ready to bite the child's face right off. Luke struggled, pushing and squirming to get the large dog away but his attempts were hardly working. It was only stalling off the inevitable.

"PROFESSOR PLEASE HELP ME!"

"Hell no!" Said Layton, "With you dead I could have the gold all to myself. See you later, chump!"

He turned to leave, but he heard the pitiful and heart breaking sound of a child crying. He turned around to see tears falling from Luke's red face. Or maybe it was dog dribble.

"Help me professor!" The boy seemed so small and so helpless. It seemed so wrong to leave him to die.

He furrowed his eyebrows and picked up a rock from the ground. Winding back his arm he threw the stone with all of his might, and it missed Luke and the dog entirely and smashed into a window, killing the woman inside.

"Fuck."

"PROFESSOR!"

"OKAY FINE." Layton picked up yet another rock and threw it at the dog. It bounced right off of the dog.

It sharply looked up at Layton in response and growled. It jumped over the boy and charged right over to Layton to retaliate. It was heading straight towards him, like a furry bullet.

Layton quickly dodged the attack by acrobatically flipping to the left, landing right next to a green garbage can. He grabbed the lid and held it out in front of him like a shield using the handle. He let out a confident smirk, "Come and get it, mutt."

The dog charged again but this time, the canine's head was greeted by the lid.

Luke winced. Mostly because of sympathy and also because of the loud 'CLASH' sound it made when the two things collided, shaking his ear drums.

The dog collasped onto the ground. Layton approached it, "Let's hide this for now, shall we? It has a collar."

Luke frowned, "Oh, man."

"We could take it aboard the Gruesome Express and eat it for dinner later."

"Better that than children." Luke nodded.

They both picked up the corpse and tossed it into the trash bin.

"Man, this is getting more and more fucked up." Said Layton.

"We're monsters."

The two set off on their quest to the museum again. Soon the strange fragrance of garlic hung in the air. From every ornamental light that was hanging from building to building was a clove of garlic. Both of their eyes started to water from the evil sting.

"What's going on?-"

Luke was interrupted. A dirty homeless man wearing only a vest and cut up pants waddled down the street as if he was drunk. "THE END IS NIGH. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T GO TO THAT CASTLE! IT'S CURSED! THERE'S A VAAAAAAAAAAMPIRE."

Luke and Layton both gasped.

"I knew it was suspicious!" Said Layton. He turned to Luke and said in a whisper, "That's why none of the residents of Folsense even bothered to find the gold in the castle in the horizon. There's a walking, sparkling vampire in there."

Luke shivered, "That's so creepy. And SELFISH. It's keeping the money all to itself! FOR ETERNITY!"

"IMMORTAL BASTARD!" Layton yelled.

The dirty homeless man frowned, "I'm not immortal."

"AWAY WITH YOU! We're busy! Come on, Luke." Layton grabbed Luke's hand and sped up the street.

They encountered Sammy and Beluga YET AGAIN, in front of the museum once they past through the front gate.

"Are they arguing again?" Luke asked. Layton grabbed his apprentice and they hid behind a tree.

"Maybe they'll mention something about the gold." Layton whispered. Luke nodded and they both paid careful attention to the argument.

"NO! I LIKE THONGS BETTER!" Mr. Beluga yelled, "THEY FEEL BETTER AGAINST MY GROINS."

"NO WAY! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE ART OF WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR, DUDE." Sammy countered.

Layton and Luke felt a vein in their forehead throbbing. But that's when Luke noticed something interesting. He took the diary out of his pocket and inspected the symbol on the ground, "Hey Professor! Look! It's the same exact symbol."

Layton backed up, "No."

"What, Professor, WHAT?"

"I've.. I've SEEN that symbol before."

"Yeah, on the book."

Layton shook his head, "No! Come on, Luke there's probably still time. We need to go to the hotel."

"But what about the muesum?"

"The lights are off, Luke. That means it's closed. Now let's go back to the hotel... Chelmey's there and he has a certain photo from the crime scene. I'm positively certain that it has that goat in it."

Luke's eyes widdened. He flashed back to the torn up pieces of paper that were in Schrader's room. He nodded and then together, they both started to run for the hotel, because the faster the mystery is solved, the faster they can get to the gold.

Will our heroes ever find the gold? Will Chiihuahua stop writing retarded filler? Why didn't anything happen in Folsense during chapter 4 of the actual video game? Why aren't I talking about the fanfic anymore? Find out next time on Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box!


	6. The Big Picture

**-Yawn- What a beautiful morning! I think I'll check my email. Oh cool, a review- **

I swear to God... I will eat your first born child's soul if you don't continue this.

**-Falls out of chair- HUH? WAIT? JUST WHAT THE HELL?**

Chuck Norris will break your nentendo DS if you don't finish this.

**OH MY GOD NOT MY NINTENDO DS! IT'S BAD ENOUGH MY TOP SCREEN IS ALL WOBBLY.**

If you know a little something about ol' chuck, he doesn't fuck with people who finishes their story.

**HOLY SHIT.**

You've got 90 hours till pedo bear, and shadowlurker tie you up while Rebecca black croaks like a frog. **PLEASE NO. PLEAAAAASE NO. THAT'S A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH.**

I'm waiting.

**WHA-**

I can see you.

**OH MY FUCKING..**

Nice pants.

**I JUST SOILED THEM.**

**-Inhale, exhale-. **_**Just breathe, Chiihuahua-just get through this.. Let's look at the other reviews... Come on eye, stop twitching.**_

**Ahem.. Now.. To all you people reading this fanfic in the library- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? WHY WOULD YOU READ -THIS- OF ALL THINGS IN A PUBLIC AREA? People are going to think you're nuts! Gah! This fucking author's note has gone on long enough!**

**Last time on Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box.**

Professor Layton and Luke enter the town of Folsense! While exploring, Luke and Layton discover

the huge gold Fortune hidden inside of a castle that lies on the horizon. The two decide to find the treasure and go home as rich men! But unfortunately, clues keep popping up about the Mashed Potato Box- such as a strange diary, forcing the duo to reluctantly investigate that mystery instead. They search for Inspector Chelmey and hope that he has a lead to the box.

**..also please send me more reviews! Even if they threaten my life. (They probably will, after this chapter and all this bold fucking text! MY EYES HURT.)**

* * *

><p>"Professor! Why would Chelmey be in the hotel?" Luke asked while they were running down the block.<p>

"Well, think about it Luke! It's getting late and he's probably tired from crawling around and bleeding all day!"

Their heavy panting breaths and the sound of their feet smacking against the ground filled the otherwise quiet and dark streets.

"Can we check on Flora while we're there?" Luke asked again.

"Depends on if Chelmey's there or not."

They entered the hotel and stood in the lobby, trying to catch their breath. Not too far from the door, on the ground was Chelmey. Barton was talking to one of the hotel attendants. The inspector was groaning in pain. He looked up at the professor and his apprentice with a look of worry in his eyes, "I think my wounds are infected." He said, "3 of my fingers are numb and green."

"There's no time for that bullshit now! You should have went to the hospital earlier!" Said Layton.

"WELL I WAS TOO CAUGHT UP IN SOLVING THE MYSTERY OF THE MASHED POTATO BOX BEFORE YOU, GAYTON."

Layton sighed, "Let me help-"

"HAH! THE GREAT CHELMEY ACCEPTING HELP? NEVER."

"Stop being such a pretentious asshole and let us help you!" The professor insisted.

"Inspector, you have no right to refuse him! We barely have anything of a lead." Said Barton, who raced right over once he noticed his partner was yelling.

"Fine." Chelmey muttered, "BUT I DON'T LIKE THIS ONE BIT."

Layton nodded, "Now Chelmey, at the crime scene was a ripped up piece of paper. Do you still have it?"

"YOU THINK I'M STUPID? How could I LOSE CRIME SCENE EVIDENCE? BARTON, GO INTO MY POCKETS AND PRESENT GAYTON WITH THE-"

"There's a hole in your pocket sir!" Frowned Barton.

"WHAT THE?" Chelmey yelled, "NO WAY."

"I just have this little piece." Barton gave the Professor a little piece of the picture. You couldn't make anything out of it.

"Aw fuck!" Layton put the piece in his trunk, "You got to be KIDDING me? You've probably been dropping these pieces all around Folsense while you were doing your stupid investigation about some box nobody even cares about."

"We were doing most of our investigation by an alley. We were chased by some crazed rabid dog." Barton explained.

"Uh.. Don't worry about the dog." Said Layton. He turned to Luke, "Are you okay?"

Luke was still panting, "Yeah. It was a long run, Professor."

"Well we gotta go back and collect the pieces."

"Fine, whatever I don't fucking.. Whatever." He sat down on the ground and wheezed.

The professor turned back to the inspector, "While Luke is catching his breath, we should amputate."

Chelmey frowned, "Eh? Amputate what?"

"Your fingers, or else the infection'll spread." The Professor took out a small knife from his pocket and grabbed Chelmey's hand. He began to saw the knife against the bone in the middle of the inspector's right ring finger. It made a high pitched grinding noise.

"WHAT? NO! I THINK I'D LIKE A DOCTOR TO DO THAT INSTEAD." The inspector cried in agony.

"Quit your bitching!" Said Layton, "I'm almost done." Blood squirted from the finger like a fountain, staining the professor's face as well as the floor. The green finger dropped to the ground a few seconds later, "There!"

"GAYTON!" Chelmey yelled. "GAYTON I'M BLEEDING EVERYWHERE!"

Layton frowned, "I actually didn't anticipate this much blood. How much blood was in your fucking finger?" A red puddle quickly grew on the floor, spreading underneath everyone's feets. Chelmey grew pale, "Are you going to leave me like this?"

"Fuck! Professor what do we do?" Luke asked.

Layton looked like he was thinking. "I might have the solution to this! There's this puzzle-"

Luke groaned.

"-If there was a man at a water fountain that was 8 feet tall and the water came out at the speed of homework and finals being delivered before the start of a standard school break at the University, what would the prostitute have for breakfast the following morning?"

"GAYTON!" Chelmey desperately cried, "How will this help my finger?"

But Layton was long gone. He was calculating the puzzle aloud to himself, "By carrying the zebra print panties the prostitute is obviously wearing.."

Luke went upstairs to their room and came back down with a tampon. He taped the tampon around the remainder of the finger. "There. It's like it never left."

"HOW IS THIS MAKING IT ANY BETTER?"

Luke shrugged, "Flora uses it for her bleeding problems. Look, you're not being much help if you're just going to bitch and complain!"

Chelmey frowned, "But now I have a TAMPON for a fucking finger! THE GREAT CHELMEY HAS COTTON FINGERS."

"Well you should have thought of that before you got into a fight!"

"YOU DID THIS TO ME YOU EVIL CHILD!"

Luke smirked.

"HEY YOU BRAT!" Chelmey yelled, "What the FUCK is with that smug look on your face?"

The professor's apprentice simply tugged on his mentor's sleeve and bought Layton out of puzzle mode. Layton turned to Luke, "Why are we still here? Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, let's go."

"HEY!" Said Chelmey, "WAIT, I'M BLEEDING REALLY REALLY BAD!" But he was ignored.

"Oh and Layton!" Barton took a key out of his pocket, "I.. I have no idea what this is for. Do you?"

"Oh it's another diary key." Luke took the key from Chelmey's assistant, and then he and Layton walked out of the door, ignoring the inspector's cries for help.

"_I ripped open my shirt and gazed into the mirror." _Luke was reading again during the journey to the alley, _"This beautiful, smooth skin reminded me of winter. It was as pale and white as the snow that would sprinkle Folsense every December. It was so soft, so supple, and so warm. My nipples we-"_

Layton yanked the book from Luke's hands and put it in his trunk.

"HEY!"

"Maybe it's best if we just stop collecting pieces of this sad fuck's diary."

Luke looked around, "Okay we past the dog corpse. This must be where Chelmey was searching. The pieces should be around here. Hey look there's one!"

There was a piece of the picture on the ground right in front of Layton. As he leaned over to pick it up, a little girl around Luke's age with purple hair in pigtails ran past and scooped the piece up in her hand. The young girl's long sleeved orange and creamed coloured dress was a blur as she quickly ran a couple of paces ahead of them. She smiled in triumph, holding the piece up in between her index and middle finger.

"HEY! What the HELL?" Luke frowned, "GIVE THAT BACK."

"NO! I am Marina! _Keeper of the First Piece_! If you want this piece of the picture, you need to defeat me!"

"You better GIVE us that piece or I'm going to go all gentlemanly on your ass!" Said Layton.

"First you gotta catch mee!" Marina started to run. Something fell out of her dress pocket and onto the ground. It was sparkly and the colour of gold.

"Hey look another key!" Said Luke.

"WILL YOU FORGET THAT DIARY? WE NEED THE PIECE."

"It's just too addicting! I can't stop reading!"

"WE GOT TO RUN!"

"More running?"

"LUKE."

"FINE." Luke picked up the key anyway and started to run after Marina, "Let's go!"

"What's wrong with Folsense? These people are straight up crazy!" Layton said running right after him.

Marina turned around and noticed the two were gaining up on her pretty quickly. She opened up a bag of round and colourful jawbreakers. She spilled them on the ground behind her laughing loudly as she did so and then continued to run through Folsense like a crazed lunatic.

Layton ended up slipping on a jawbreaker and landing on his face with a loud thud. Luke couldn't help stopping and laughing. His mentor looked up, one of his teeth were on the ground.

"DAMMIT LUKE! The PIECE! JUST GO!" He spat out blood with every word.

Luke carefully treaded through the candy and then picked up the pace again once he passed the obstacle. He followed Marina up a couple stairs and through twisting and winding roads. His feet splished and splashed in the water where there was a broken pipe. That's when he got hit in the head by a lollipop. "OW! What the?"

Marina stopped running but she was throwing giant lollipops of various colours as if they were shurikens and they were super painful when the candy part hit you. Luke dodged several of them but got hit by another lolipop in the middle of the forehead and landed in the water with a loud splash. He gritted his teeth, "What's WRONG with you?"

"I am the protector of torn photographs! I am the Queen of obstacles! I HAVE AN UNLIMITED SUPPLY OF CANDY AT MY DISPOSAL! I AM MARINA!"

"You're a crazy girl who's sugar high!"

"That may be true, But you will NOT get this piece until you've proven that you've EARNED IT!"

Layton caught up to the two children. He stared at Luke, who was still laying in the water.

"She won't give me the piece, professor! She keeps hitting me with lollipops!"

The professor turned to the purple haired girl, "Why are you doing this?"

The girl blushed and then looked away, "Because.. Because.. I don't have a real family. The only thing I have ever felt close to is sugar." She looked up at the professor, "You and that boy looked so close like father and son. I was very jealous-I.. I wanted t-AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The professor tackled the girl. He grabbed the piece from the girl's hands and then lifted her up by her pigtails as if they were handlebars. He twirled around and around in circles and tossed her into the giant puddle. She collided right into Luke. "DO NOT CALL ME LUKE'S FATHER. THAT'S EMBARRASSING. I SURE AS HELL DIDN'T RAISE THIS FAT, GREEDY, GOOD FOR NOTHING SON OF A-!"

"PROFESSOR!"

Meanwhile, the girl was seeing stars, "A-Ahahh.. I've been.. Defeated..?"

"Come on, Luke." Layton pulled his sore apprentice out of the water.

"That really hurt, Professor. She landed right on top of me!"

"Come on! We need to find the other pieces-Here." The professor took out the diary from his trunk and gave it to Luke, "Stop whining and read it."

Luke smiled, "Okay!"

"_The woman of my dreams decided to marry me! I decided to order a dress for her myself, because I don't want her to out-pretty me-"_

"On second thought," Said the Professor, "Don't."

"You're no fun, professor."

They started off again, looking for more pieces. They found a couple a trash heap, a piece on top of a bush, and one under a rock. They both were wondering why Chelmey was wondering around the trash heap and how he manage to get a piece under a rock, but other than that the search was rather uneventful. They've found more keys belonging to the diary however, in the streets that they have overlooked before. Two keys have been recovered on their search for more pieces of the picture.

"_My little brother is so ignorant. He left home before my glorious wedding, probably because he was sick of seeing his brother look so magnificent. Either that, or he grew tired of my nightly raids. Oh you know the ones, diary. The ones where I barge into some unsuspecting person's room in the middle of the night wearing my full body rubber latex suit and my furry pink handcuffs. That suit makes my butt look so cute."_

"_Daddy doesn't have time for me anymore. All he cares about is digging up all that lame gold in the mine. Daaaaaddy. Why don't you love your pretty son?"_

They had one more piece to go and discovered from some sane civilians that the final scrap was in front of the gate at the forest-The same forest which lead to the castle. Sure enough, the final piece was on top of a light fixture that was a part of the gate. The professor took it.

"That forest is giving me the creeps." Said Luke, "And to think, we gotta go through that later on to get the treasure."

The dark green trees brushed against the dark sky and the intimidating sounds of animals growled and screeched. The forest was an entirely different world-A world full of hungry blood thirsty animals and an equally blood thirsty vampire.

"There's plenty of garlic around Folsense, Luke. We could just pocket some and be on our merry way. Help me put the pieces together, Luke! It's a perfect puzzle!"

Luke rolled his eyes, "More puzzles, professor?"

"I'm just going to PRETEND like I didn't hear that."

The two sat down and took probably 15 minutes, rotating and turning each piece until the picture was finally completed. The picture was of something golden with beautiful jewels decorating the sides. In the middle was a goat with two large horns.

"It's.. The mashed potato box." Layton said. His voice seemed astonished, "Holy crap!"

Luke took out the diary and put it next to the picture, "The symbols! They add up! Like the one at the museum. What the hell does this mean?"

Just then, the wind blew and all of the pieces fluttered away. But luckily for them, they scattered in the opposite direction of the forest.

"...Oh my FUCKING-" Layton yelled.

After searching for all the pieces again except for one, the two pieced the puzzle back together. Layton furiously ducttaped them together. He cursed at the hole in the middle, "It's not even a goat anymore. It's like a frog or something now."

"Great, now what?" Luke frowned.

"I don't know! Now I'm discouraged. I don't even remember why we're looking for the box in the first place. I'm going to the hotel, ordering a cheap beer and then going to sleep."

Luke sighed, "Alright. But I've been meaning to check on Flora anyway."

"How come?"

"I don't know.. Something about her just rubs me the wrong way."

Layton smiled, "Are you in love, Luke? Ever since she got her period, her body filled out quite nicely even if she is a little hairy now."

Luke didn't say anything. Fighting back the urge to kick Professor Layton in the testicles, he took the nearly finished picture and put it in his pocket. The two walked back to the hotel. As soon as they entered the lobby they noticed that everybody who was in the deluxe car was there, facing a very angry but pale looking Chelmey in the middle of the room. Flora was sitting on top of a step, Katia was sitting on a sofa next to Sammy and Mr. Beluga. But Barton was next to the door, to prevent anyone from leaving the hotel.

"AH THERE'S GAYTON NOW!" Said Chelmey. He was laying in a pile of his own blood and had to slide himself to face the professor and his apprentice when they walked into the room. "ALL OF THE SUSPECTS IN SCHRADER'S HORRIFIC MURDER ARE FINALLY HERE."

"What's this about?" Layton asked.

"I know who committed the murder!" Said Chelmey, "I KNOW THE CULPRIT!"

Luke gasped, "Honestly?"

"BECAUSE EVERYONE IS AFTER THE MASHED POTATO BOX, EACH OF YOU IN THIS ROOM BESIDES ME AND BARTON ARE SUSPECTS! OF MURRRDERR!"

"I didn't even know there was a murder." Said Katia. "You've got this all wrong."

"HUSH, GIRLY, THE GREAT CHELMEY IS SPEAKING."

"Must you yell every word?" Flora said, "You crazy kook!"

"SILENCE! Anyway, according to the crap I had Barton take at Schrader's apartment I learned that he would come to Folsense and explore for no real reason at all. SO HE MUST HAVE BEEN KILLED BY SOMEBODY WHO REGULARLY COMES TO FOLSENSE. Since the murderer wanted the box soo bad when they discovered Schrader had his hands on it, THEY FOLLOWED HIM BACK TO LONDON AND MURDERED HIM IN COLD BLOOOD. And the ONLY way to get to Folsene is by GRUESOME EXPRESS. Therefore, the murderer, the culprit, THE INSANE SCUM IS NONE OTHER THAN PROFESSOR GAYTON."

Layton frowned, "No..? I've never been to Folsense before and I only learned about the train from the murder."

"Oh, yeah. THE CULPRIT, THE MURDERER, THE INSANE SCUM IS NONE OTHER THAN KATIA!"

Katia rolled her eyes, "Boy you can't be serious! HELLLL-OO!"

"OH- THEN, SAMMY THUNDER!"

"Whoa dude!" Sammy frowned, "What the hell? I sold you pot, man! How could you rat me out like this?"

"What a jerk! I can't believe Mr. Beluga's own nephew would do such a thing!" Said Luke. He turned to Flora, "Oh, Flora! Look what we've been doing all night." He showed her the picture of the box, "Pretty neat huh? No thanks to you." He had a tiny smirk on his face and studied Flora's tiny tiny eyes very closely.

Flora batted her eyelashes at Luke, "It's such a cute little goat." Then she giggled.

"A-HAH!" Luke screamed.

Layton quickly turned to the inspector. "Sammy didn't do it!"

"How do YOU know?" Said Chelmey, "UNLESS YOU DID IT AFTER ALLL!"

"NO, COTTON FINGER. The culprit is FLORA."

Flora gasped, "That's silly! I didn't do it! I don't have the physical strength!"

"YES YOU DID! And you know why?"

"Why?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE ACTUALLY A MAN. NO WOMAN WOULD EVER BLINK HER EYE-LIDS IN SUCH A WAY."

Everyone in the room except Layton gasped in unison.

Luke frowned, "Uh.. Sure. BUT, NOT ONLY THAT BUT SHE -KNEW- It was a picture of a goat! And we LOST the last piece, which made up the goat in the picture! The only way she would know how the Mashed Potato Box looked is if she stole the box from that dead guy!"

Everyone in the room gasped again.

Flora grew really angry. "LAYYYYYYYTON!"

"WHOA PMS!" Yelled Sammy, "SHE'S GONNA EXPLODE!"

Layton hid behind the couch, "WHY IS SHE MAD AT ME? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

In one quick motion, Flora ripped off the dress and her hair, revealing the person she was underneath.

"IT'S..." Luke gasped.

"It's..." Layton frowned.

"DON PAOLO!"

Don Paolo smirked, "YES! It was me. And by the way you JERKS, I know ALL ABOUT the Herzen fortune up in that castle and if I could have stalled you off just a little while longer it would have been MINE too!"

"But if you're here, where's the real Flora?" Luke asked.

"THE LITTLE BITCH IS DEAD!" He laughed maniacally in response and topped it off with a large cheshire smile with his sharp, pointy teeth.

The words slapped the faces of the dumbstruck professor and his equally shocked apprentice. They both stared at him wide-eyed until Luke broke the sickening silence in the room. "You.. YOU.. BASTARD!" Luke screamed, "I'LL KILL HIM!" He jumped up in an attempt to lunge at Don Paolo but the professor grabbed him by the child's waist and held him back, "Don't, Luke! Leave it to the authorities!"

"What? THAT USELESS MANGLED UP FOOL ON THE GROUND?" Luke tried to pull himself from Layton's grip, digging his nails into the professor's arms. "Let me go! HE KILLED FLORA!"

"The beautiful golden apple is nothing more but little chunks digesting in the stomach of a very satisfied cow." Said Don Paolo. The evil genius laughed, "It was really easy once she was unconsious. But don't worry! She didn't even know what was happening to her-I was being kind. The lovely sound her pretty little limbs made against my hacksaw sounds awfully the same as the sound you're making with your teeth, LAYTON."

Layton was grinding his teeth together but quickly stopped once Don Paolo pointed it out.

"I lost a GOLDEN opportunity! I wonder what would happen if she was awake? What she would have sounded like if she screamed?" Don Paolo laughed, "I guess she would be like, 'Professor! Luke! Help me!' But poor little Flora! Layton and Luke would have never arrived. They were too busy on the Gruesome Express looking for some box that was right next to them all along. FUCKING! MORON!"

He turned to the exit, "Life is sad, isn't it?" The tone of his voice dramatically dropped, "All she wanted was to solve one more mystery with the great Professor Layton! The great Professor Layton who doesn't care about ANYONE but HIMSELF. Well, I guess that's one brat down, AND ANOTHER TO GO!" He jumped over officer Chelmey and ran out the door with Barton chasing after him.

Chelmey crawled out of the building with all of his might.

Luke stopped struggling once Don Paolo left, and errupted like a volcano. Tears flew out of his eyes this way and that. Once Layton sat Luke down properly on the sofa, something shiny caught his eye. Something shiny and gold was tipped onto it's side and it was so large, he was amazed that he had missed it. "It's... The Mashed Potato Box. Don Paolo must have dropped it."

The boy looked up at the Professor, and then at the box. He made a little smile despite how wet and sadden he was, "Yeah. T-there it is..." His voice shook, "Flora would have wanted us to solve this stupid mystery, right?"

"Yeah, Luke." He picked it up, "Let's do this-For her."

* * *

><p>Next time on Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box, we go through heavy angst about Flora, possibly sit through pointless filler <strong>(cause the fic is coming to an end)<strong> and PROBABLY figure out the mystery behind the Mashed Potato Box! See you whenever I freaking feel like it.

**(Also, I know this chapter seemed a bit short compared to the other ones but I wanted to make up for the filler in the last chapter by making this one more eventful.) **REST IN PIECES, FLORA! **(Literally.)**


	7. The Mashed Potato Box

-Climbs out of the wreckage covered in CARNAGE-. I HAVE SLAIN THE WRITER'S BLOCK.

Thank you for your patience! I haven't forgotten about this! I've just been uh.. "artistically braindead!"

-shot-

Don't forget to revieww and tell me how you like ittt~!

**LAST TIME on Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box: **Flora may (or may not have died) at the hands of the evil master of disguise also known as Don Paolo. The mashed potato box has been discovered at the scene as Don Paolo ran off, and now it's up to Layton and his apprentice Luke to solve the mystery in memory of the fallen Flora. (Who might be alive but you gotta KEEP READING TO FIND OUT MUHAHAHAHAHA)

* * *

><p>"Uh hold up." Said Katia, "You're not the only one searching for that box. Why should YOU have it?"<p>

"That box belongs to the Herzens!" Said Mr. Beluga, "I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THAT BOX MY ENTIRE LIFE, NOW. Hand it to me!"

"Your name is BELUGA." Said Luke, "You're not a Herzen!"

"Oh." Mr. Beluga frowned, "Oh yeah."

"You dellusional old man! Why the hell did you come all the way out here for the box for all these years if it has NOTHING to do with you?" Said Layton.

Mr. Beluga had to think about that for a minute, "Uhm.. Well.. Fuck."

"Duuude." Said Sammy, "My uncle changed his name to Beluga a long time ago, bro. He's one hundred precent Herzen."

"-Until he denounced his family and changed his name." Said Layton.

Mr. Beluga and Sammy left the hotel, empty handed and defeated. Both felt equally as stupid.

The professor and his apprentice turned to Katia, who was the only person left in the lobby, and also the only one left with the potential to get away with the box fair and square.

"Well?" Said Luke. He pet the top of the box as if it were a furry animal, "What about you? Why do you think we should give this to you?"

Katia frowned. Why should she explain her reasons to these two idiots with such short attention spans? Layton and Luke were already zoned out, staring at the box.

"Shiinyy." Luke gasped. He shook the Mashed Potato Box.

Katia cleared her throat, bringing the attention on her self once more, "It's very important that you give that box to me!"

"Why?" Said Layton.

"I can't tell you! I just need it, alright? You don't know absolutely anything about this box! You didn't even want to look for the box and solve 'this stupid mystery' so don't! Just give it to me!" She reached out to grab it but Luke moved out of the way. Katia stompped her foot in response, "You're both nothing but thugs!"

"Thugs? We are 100% Gentlemen!" Said Layton.

"No you're not! You're just a pack of thugs! Now hand that box over to me!"

Layton dismissed Katia and turned to Luke, "Let's go upstairs."

"Right Professor!"

"HEY! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" Katia yelled.

"Do you hear something Professor?"

"Yeah, some whiny little bitch."

But right as they turned around to leave, Layton's back met the bottom of Katia's shoe because she unleashed a powerful drop kick to his spine.

Layton dropped to his stomach.

"PROFESSOR!" Luke cried.

He turned to Katia, who was in a pseudo karate-stance. Her legs were spread apart, knees were bent and her hands were all vertical, "Hey. Gimme that box kid, and nobody else gets hurt."

Luke gasped, "YOU'RE THE THUG!"

"Get up the stairs, Luke! I'll handle her!" The Professor said as he picked himself up. He wiped his face and got into another karate-like position with his knees also bent and his hands held out in front of him, "I KNOW KUNG FU!"

(This authour sure doesn't..)

Luke ran up the stairs and into their room. He shut the door, bolted the lock, and then threw the box onto the bed. He stared at it. His small fingers twisted nervously, dripping with sweat. The box was calling out to him. There was something so enticing about it's beauty that he couldn't bring himself to look away. The boy stepped forward.

"N-No." Luke said to himself, "I can't! Whoever opens the box DIES!"

He turned away and faced the wall. He stared at the boring pattern of pale gray dots. But the rolls and rolls of circles started to dance. The polka dots merged together and formed an outline of a familiar thing-The golden, jewel covered box sitting on the bed shouting out for his touch. He turned his head and looked at the fascinating object on the bed, with it's beautiful glow. "No! I won't! I'm not going to open it." But despite that, his feet slowly advanced the bed.

Layton back flipped and dodged one of Katia's kicks. "Damn." He thought, wiping away some blood off his lip from an earlier hit, "She really packs a punch." He dodged another one.

"Give me that box!" She demanded.

The two were in a tussle since Luke was upstairs, and now Katia had resorted to throwing vases. She picked up another one and chucked it at the professor with all her might, but he ducked and it smashed into a hotel staff employee who came to break up the brawl, killing him.

"What the HELL have you been doing in Dropstone? Did Mr. Anderson teach you how to fight like this?"

"LIVING ON THE STREETS! FIGHTING TO SURVIVE!" Katia spat. She backed up and charged at Layton with a clenched fist, "I've lived in the 'hood all my life! Fighting with knives for food!"

"DON'T YOU LIVE IN A MANSION?" Layton yelled while ducking, "DIDN'T YOUR GRANDMOTHER START THE TOWN?"

"SHUT UP BEADY EYES, AND GIVE ME THE BOX!"

Suddenly, the door opened up. A man ran inside of the hotel. "Somebody! Anybody!"

Katia and Layton turned their attention to the man.

The man stopped for a moment, kneeled over and tried to catch his breath. "Somebody's been taken to the Vampire's castle!" He said in between breaths, "He's going to get killed!"

"NO! That asshole's probably going to steal the-" But Layton quickly stopped himself when Katia bolted out of the door.

Layton turned around and ran up the steps, "LUKE! LUKE!"

He banged on the door, because turning it with the doorknob had failed. "LUKE! OPEN THE DOOR! LUKE!"

The professor's assistant was on the floor. His eyes were shut and his body was limp. The beautiful box was open on the bed where he left it.

"That nosy little asshole!" Layton muttered, "He opened the box!" He banged on the door, but this time, out of frustration. The professor took a deep breath, and calmed himself down. Then, he backed up all the way into a wall. He charged into the door and tried to bust it open using his shoulder. He did this three times until the door finally gave way. He didn't have time to address his aching body because he ran to Luke first. He picked the boy up and shook him. "Luke! LUKE!" Layton's fingers dug into the small boy's shoulders. "LUKE!"

He looked up at the bed and dropped the lifeless body. Then he peered into the box and to his surprise..

**THERE WAS NOTHING IN IT.**

He backed up, "No.. NO! What? That can't be! We came all this way for a box with NOTHING in it?"

Everything around him started to fade to black. He could feel the anger rising in his throat. "I'VE BEEN WASTING MY TIME..?" He was about to go on a homicidal rage. He picked up the Mashed Potato Box and threw it onto the floor, "THIS DOESN'T REMIND ME OF A PUZZLE AT ALL. IT REMINDS ME OF DEATH!"

He ran outside the hotel room, picked up a couple of chairs in the lobby and smashed some windows, using his anger as a new found strength.

"Sir!" Cried a hotel employee, "What are you doing?"

Layton stared at the man with his red glowing eyes. The vein on his forehead swelled and swelled and swelled. He picked up a sharp piece of pottery from the vase Katia had thrown at him earlier and charged at the man. His angry feet stompped the ground, shaking the place.

The employee didn't even get a chance to scream before the glass went into his throat, squirting blood everywhere.

"I'M DONE." Layton cried, his shirt drenched in blood. "I'M DONE. I'M GOING ON THE GRUESOME EXPRESS, AND I'M TAKING THE NEXT TRAIN BACK TO LONDON, AND I'M GOING HOME, AND I'M GOING TO DRINK TEA, AND I'M GOING TO FORGET THIS CHAPTER OF MY LIFE HAD EVER HAPPENED."

He raced up the stairs and opened the door, "WHAT THE FUCK?"

After he said this, Luke pulled himself up and rubbed his throbbing temples. "Professor.." He groaned.

Layton turned to Luke, "You're not supposed to be alive! YOU OPENED THE BOX!"

"There was nothing in the box! Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" Luke cried, "I passed out from shock."

"Then what the FUCK are we doing here? What happened to my mentor?"

"I don't know!" Luke cried, "I don't even know!"

Layton took a deep breath. He sat down and meditated. He pulled a sliding puzzle out of nowhere and started to solve it.

Luke sighed. When the professor gets into these moods, there's no shaking him out of it. He usually does it to calm himself down after he gets mad or else he beats Luke, ties him upside down and hangs him on the clothing line outside until the police are called. Luke shuddered.

Once Layton was done enjoying his happy puzzle place, he looked up. "Maybe there really was something in the box but Don Paolo took it. Then again, I doubt that he'd look inside it because he was probably too scared to look, after seeing my mentor's body."

"But then how exactly did he die?"

Layton frowned, "The mystery isn't exactly solved yet. I think we need to gather more clues, first. This box belongs to the Herzen family. So let's try and find clues in the museum. Hopefully it should be opened now."

Layton and Luke walked into the lobby. Luke gasped, "PROFESSOR! What the hell did you do?" He looked at all the wreckage and blood and noticed something shiny where the couch used to be. Layton had used his eyebeams to take it out of existence. He picked it up, "It's a coin!"

"MONEY!" Layton gasped.

"It says.. It's a hint coint." Luke frowned. "What the hell is a hint coin? Will this help us find the mystery of the mashed potato box?"

"I found another." Layton said, pick-pocketting the dead body, "Let's hold on to them, Luke. Maybe we can find a purpose for them."

"Alright!"

The two stepped out of the hotel and into the dark streets once again. Even though they were walking at a fast pace, Luke caught glimpse of something silver that the moonlight bounced off of. It was another diary key.

_"Suddenly out of nowhere, the entire town is dying! Nobody is interested in my beautiful body!_

_It's a curse I tell you! Oh Diary! It seems like you're the only one left who still understands! They don't know how hard I work to keep this form! Sure, I was born this way but it keeps effort to stay this way! These succulent lips, my irresistable hips, my firm butt! To hell with Folsense! They don't deserve to have a Duke this sexy if they're not going to look at him! I'm so mad! Where's my rope? Only bondage will calm me now."_

The two walked into the now museum and was astonished by the large size. The walls were stretched out forever. But everything was a bit dusty and neglected, like nobody bothered to come here anymore. There were Herzen memorbilia everywhere, from pictures to statues, to unwashed plates, and even clipped toenails.

"Eww." Luke shuttered, noticing the filthy nail-clipping jar. He looked down on the floor and spotted yet another key.

_"My less-beautiful-than-me fiance abandoned me. But most importantly- I LOST MY FAVOURITE SPARKLY CHERRY LIPGLOSS! I AM FED UP WITH THIS WORLD. I WANT TO DIE. ANGST ANGST ANGST! NOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY? WHYYY? WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?"_

"Ah, welcome." Said the Museum's curator. "Is there anything I can help you with in particular?"

"We're just looking around a little." Said Layton.

"Well if you need me for anything at all.." The curator said with a small smile.

The two continued to walk around, examining statues of the tall and noble looking Duke Herzen. Eventually they came across a portrait of Duke Herzen, a young Beluga and a taller older man.

"Whoa." Said Luke. "Look at him!" He pointed to the older man in the picture. "He's... Beautiful."

"His hair is like.. Locks of gold. It's a bunch of gold dust sprinkled onto some one's head." Layton's tiny eyes were getting larger and larger in awe. "And those eyes.. So green."

"Or maybe.." Luke tilted his head, "Gray."

"CURATOR!" Layton called, "Who is this.. Beautiful man?"

The curator approached them and stared at the painting, "Ah. That's Anton. It's best that you don't look directly at him-It can mesmerize an unexperienced mind, turning you into a horny, starving, fangirl. The poor boy went crazy over his looks and spent his entire life perfecting his beauty with various treatments ranging from painful to just outright stupid."

"So that's why he looks nothing like Beluga or his father." Layton said, nodding.

"Where can we find this perfect man?" Asked Luke.

"He still lives up in that castle with the vampire." Replied the curator, "If he's still alive, that is. No one has seen him in a long time."

"Drats!" Luke snapped his fingers. He looked at the diary in his hands, "I guess this crazy thing belongs to him."

The curator's eyes lit up, "Oh please! When you're done finding all the keys for those locks can you return it to me to put on display in the museum?"

Layton quickly grabbed the diary, "Not so fast! We want something in return. What do you know about the Mashed Potato Box?"

The man lowered his tone into a small barely audible whisper, "Check the town mines." Then he quickly ran off.

The two were left confused.

"Mines? What mines?" Frowned Luke.

"I don't know.. Dammit, this mystery gets bigger and bigger."

Upon leaving the museum and looking for the mines they came across two keys.

_"Daddy won't leave me alone! He keeps bothering me! Always opening my door and yelling at me, ever since that girl left! I bet SHE took my lipgloss! Ungrateful whore! I gave her nothing but my lovely body and this is how she treats me! I HATE HER! HATE HATE HATE. She ruined my life! WHY WON'T ANYONE TELL ME I'M BEAAUTIFULLL?"_

_"I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy. I'm a pretty boy."_

But there was something weird about the second entry, because the sparkly purple ink seemed to bleed off the page even though it was very dry and safe to touch.

The two heard rumours about the castle on that horizon from people in the town as they asked for directions. The vampire would get anybody who comes close to the place and nobody would ever return. But the question was, if nobody has ever returned from the castle.. Then how did they know about the vampire? These thoughts were in the Professor's head as well as Luke's as they entered the forest gates. They were covered in another kind of darkness. Not only the nighttime air but the shadows of the trees painted over them gave off a disturbing kind of feel. The sounds of birds squawking were just merely innocent calls. But to the professor and his apprentice, it was the sound of a hacksaw, sawing through a bone. Folsense was already creepy, with the weird castle in the distance and the town full of eye-ball like windows but this forest was the most terrible place of all.

"I'm scared." Luke said, the intimidating forest leaving him to whisper. He grabbed onto Layton's arm.

"Don't worry. I have some garlic in my pocket." Layton whispered back.

"That's kind of gross."

"I know. I stink like crazy but it will keep the vampires away."

_SQUAWK_

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Luke screamed.

"Calm down!" The professor whispered, "It's just a bird."

_Spare change?_

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

"CALM DOWN, LUKE. It was a hobo!"

Luke sighed in relief, "Oh."

They continued to walk down the forest. There was a fork in the path, but the directions told them to go left so they did. They made it to the mine with no incident. The inside of the mine seemed even darker than the forest and just as haunting. There were yellow eyes staring back at them, but they were just bats and nothing to be afraid of. The two came face to face with another locked door once they were inside. But after a quick puzzle from nowhere, Layton had opened it. With a loud roar from the door they were able to fully explore the mines. Their feet echoed off the walls with every step they took. Since it was dark, Luke didn't notice he pressed a button when he let his small hand brush against the wall until it was too late.

They both gasped in surprise. They were falling.

"LUKE! WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"I THINK WE'RE IN AN ELEVATOR!"

With loud mechanical sounds and a nauseating jerk, the two ended up downstairs. Strangely the room down here was well lit, with a bunch of lanterns which were still functional. Layton looked down and examined the lift they stepped in. He looked up, "We definitely did step into an elevator."

"Professor, Look at that!" Luke pointed to a giant safe, shaped like a pentagon in one of the walls. It was closed but it was big enough for them both to walk into.

"So many puzzles!" The professor said with glee. He pranced over to the safe and unlocked it, "Isn't this amazing, Luke?"

His apprentice rolled his eyes, "Sure."

"Don't worry, I got something for you too!" Layton took out a dusty journal from inside the safe.

"YAY!" Luke grabbed the book and blew the dust off of it. Then he opened it.

_"Upon digging up the soils from the earth we have encountered an abberant ore of some kind. Puzzled by this peculiar object, the Duke had placed a request that we refine it into another metal. There was a baneful aura surrounding it but the Duke preformed a lack of concern. The ore had then began to impair Folsense and all of it's inhabitants as we continued to unearth it."_

"That was one of the most boring texts I have ever read." Said Luke, tearing apart the journal.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? THAT IS EVIDENCE!"

Luke spit on it. Then he threw it on the ground and stepped on it.

"LUKE YOU IDIOT. There was valuable information in that-" He sighed, "Fine. The only way of finding out what's TRUELY behind the Mashed Potato Box is if we go and talk to the Duke."

Luke smirked, "The castle in the horizon?"

"Yes Luke.." Layton smiled, "The one with all the gold."

* * *

><p>OH NO! It seems like Layton and Luke decided to give up on the box and hunt for some gold! How will this turn out? Next time, Professor Layton and Luke go to the castle to confront Anton, find some gold and tear some shit apart! It'll be crazy! <strong>Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box! <strong>(just incase you forgot which fanfic you were reading!)


	8. The Man At The Table

_Meanwhile, in Author Land.._

**Chiihuahua. Write a new chapter.**

What?

**Do it.**

Who the fuck are you?

**Your subconscious.**

Oh beat it! It's not like anyone wants to read this anyway. Now if you excuse me, I got a college essay to write. Go ahead and prove me wrong!

I laughed so hard I got an asthma attack! (maybe not the best of reviews

you've ever had, but whatever, no prizes are being handed out are they? :D)

That aside, please, please, PLEASE write more!

(If you don't, I will command Anton to visit you with his 'gear') :D

I **ing love this story XD if you don't update soon, I'll eat your face and

get my tec teacher to lick you out.

I'm so **ing lady-like. But still, lady-like or not, my threat stands.

!

grr..where are you puppy, this is my fav. story! :-D I'll kill you! write!

write!

[Thank you for everyone who reviewed and said such nice things. I haven't forgotten about you guys. I'm going to try and continue the story just for you—For everyone who believed in the power of the Mashed Potato Box.]

Now let's get this story started, huh? Time to stop padding for length- Hold on, what's this?

A.. Negative review?

"Wow, this story has more foul language than lunchtime at my secondrary school.

Clam down a bit on the language, because it just sounds like a kid trying to

be 'mature' and 'cool' and it's not coming across as funny.

...

_Please, get rid of at least half of the language though. If a chapter swears_

_more than two times than it looks very sloppy and well... lame._"

**Your wish is my command.**

Last time on **Professor Layton and the Masked Potato Box**, Layton and Luke decide to head off to the Castle in the Horizon (AKA Herzen Castle) to find the gold, and to solve the mystery of The Mashed Potato Box in memory of Flora.

Making their way out of the mine, Layton and Luke were faced with a difficult task. "Okay.. We're in this scary ass forest.." Luke said, "And-"

**FREEZE!**

"What the hell-" But Layton was interrupted too.

They both heard a voice in the breeze that just rolled by. It was sharp and rather nasally. It sounded neither male or female and it spoke very slowly with great wisdom, "I've taken your right to swear... You've had two chances and you've both blew it."

"Huh? But why?" Luke called out to the wind.

"Because!"

"And what happens if we disobey?" Layton inquired. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh. You do not want to know. I have powers behind anyone's wildest dreams."

"Bullshit!" Luke cried out. But then he suddenly wished he didn't. He felt his lower abdomen being sliced open and felt and saw his intestines oozing out of the slit. "F-"

Layton watched in horror as Luke was suddenly struck by a huge bolt of lightning and turned black and crispy. His apprentice's screams echoed through the darkness, nearly shaking his top hat right off his head.

"ALRIGHT!" Layton yelled to the sky, his ears bleeding, "WE WON'T. NO MORE CURSING, NO MORE CURSING!"

The wind left as mysteriously as it appeared, and Luke was back to normal. The professor and his apprentice stared at each other. They didn't need to speak, though. Through the entire adventure their thoughts were perfectly in sync with each other.

Not swearing? That's a hard task. Especially for Luke.

The boy pouted. No one back in London will think he's cool and mature if he doesn't curse!

And the Professor! He was upset about this change too. Cursing is his favourite thing to do while grading his test papers. He'd sit in his chair and yell rainbows of swears at his stupid student's answers for 5 hours. Then he'd take out a broom and beat Luke until the anger disappeared.

Both of them knew that this couldn't go on forever. But until they can talk to the mysterious wind again, they had to endure it.

"Anyway what the floppity floop were we doing?" Layton asked.

"Shut the front door!" Luke frowned, "We gotta swear like this?"

"Floop yeah!"

Luke nearly died. This was going to be hard to get used to. He actually had to sit down to suck all this in. It was pitiful. They both sound like the Saturday morning cartoons he used to watch.

"We should start finding a way to get into the castle." Layton said.

The professor tried to remember what all the people in Folsense had been telling them, and it didn't really help since most of the town's residents were completely insane. The entire adventure was insane. Layton looked down at his blue apprentice and frowned. It took a while for his eyes to adjust, but right there in the dirt, where Luke was sitting were carriage tracks. "Luke, look!"

Luke frowned, "At what?"

"Those carriage tracks seem fresh! If we can hurry the fluff up and chase down that carriage we might be able to follow it inside."

Luke looked down at the tracks by his feet, "But why the birdman is the carriage coming to the castle?"

"For GOLD! And if this is the case we have to hurry."

"Right, Professor!" Luke picked himself up. The two of them started to run. Their bodies were sore and tired for running all the time without any rest. All they did in Folsense was run and walk. It was beginning to take a toll on their feet. They desperately needed to sleep.

Growing dizzy, Layton stopped running. He caught his breath, "There, Luke!"

Luke breathed heavily in reply. His tiny lungs felt raw and achy.

There was an old, beat up carriage in front of a large, black gate. There was only one horse, and from Layton and Luke's perspective, the driver was practically invisible. The professor jumped onto the back of the carriage, and Luke followed suit while the carriage's driver unlocked the gates. The next thing they knew, they were headed deeper into the forest which was even more frightening than the first part.

If the first part of the forest was dark, then this is a new kind of darkness. This was absolute darkness. If you were to close your eyes, the darkness Luke and Layton faced was even darker than that. It was the kind of darkness that made their eyes water, as their pupils desperately tried to enlarge to take in any light they could. Layton doesn't even have pupils. His tiny dot eyes were closed shut. Either of them couldn't see a thing. And not only that, but it was cold. It was as if they walked into a freezer. Luke could hear strange whispers on the icy breeze and it scared the living lasagna out of him. He couldn't read the Professor's normally comforting expression, because of the darkness so he had to rely on the older man's warmth instead. "Professor.." He said, giving him a hug, "I'm sorry about everything I've ever said about puzzles. To tell you the truth, I really like them sometimes."

"….Sometimes?"

The wagon stopped.

"Oh B-A-N-A-N-A-S! Luke!" Layton gasped, "Jump off the wagon! And lay low!"

They both jumped off and laid flat on the ground. After a while, the carriage took off again.

"They must have heard us." Luke mumbled.

"I don't know but thanks to your flaffin self we have to walk there!"

"Professor.. I'm scared. I've never been so scared in my life!"

"PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER LUKE! THERE'S GOLD! THERE'S GOLDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!"

"Come on!" Layton pulled Luke up from the floor and quickly started to run. The sounds of their hearts beating was everywhere. It bounced off the trees, and off the ground like a crazy game of break out. ...Or Pong or Arkanoid or.. Something.

A glowing yellow thing caught their attention. Compared to the thick blackness of the forest, this light was like the sun coming to Earth for a visit.

"It's a lantern!" Luke exclaimed. He picked it up with a white, shaking hand and gave it to Layton, "That's an unbelievable stroke of luck, huh Professor?"

The lantern went out.

"SON OF A-"

"DON'T SAY IT! FOR THE LOVE OF PUZZLES!"

They continued walking in the dark. The dead bulb in the lantern rattled when they walked, providing a comforting sound which companied their footsteps.

"Are we there yet?" Luke groaned. They had been walking for what felt like years.

"No, Luke." The professor's voice was raspy. He was practically growing a beard.

Luke threw the lantern. "THIS IS TERRIBLE! ARE WE LOST?"

"I hope not."

"WE'RE LOST, PROFESSOR! WE'RE LOST!"

"ALRIGHT CALM DOWN!" Said Layton, "Okay. I think I know how to get out.. What was it..? North, then west? South.. Then west?"

"WHAT? I DON'T REMEMBER THAT."

"Well I don't remember the path being so gosh-darn Rudy-rootbeer linear!"

"Who the trigonometry is Rudy and where the pre-calculus are you getting your swear-censors from?" His apprentice snapped.

"Don't get snippy with me because you're scared!" Layton countered, "I'm just as tired as you are, my boy!"

Luke grunted in anger. He pushed Layton. Layton pushed Luke. Luke picked himself off the floor and gave Layton a swift kick to the left shin.

Both of them were very tired and very hungry. I don't know about you, but a journey like this would definitely make you start feeling a little irritated, so I don't blame them for fighting. Layton's shirt had ripped, and Luke's cap had been torn in the fray. They didn't care though. They just kept swiping at each other. It took Luke to fall down on the floor to notice something.

"Hey Professor!" Luke cried out in between pants.

"What?" Professor growled, "YOU WANT MY FIST IN YOUR EYE!?"

He landed a blow into Luke's left eye socket.

"Loook! Food!" Luke shrieked.

Professor immediately turned to what his apprentice pointed at. It was a big glowing mushroom. A huge, beautiful, precious mushroom.

Did either of them stop to think that this mushroom could be dangerous?

NO FAKINAWAY

They both ran to it at once, nearly colliding, and pulled it out of the ground. They tore it apart in their hands and ate it.

"I'm so happy to finally have something in my belly!" Luke laughed. "It's a miracle!"

"A GIFT FROM THE PUZZLE GODS!" Layton agreed.

"PROFESSOR! LOOK!"

The Professor looked up. Luke was flying!

"Come join me in the sky!" Large tears rolled down Luke's happy face.

"Are there puzzles up there?"

"What? How the HECK should I know? What do I look like?"

"A bird, haha!"

Luke had transformed into a blue flamingo right before his very eyes.

Layton allowed his feet to float off the ground and he joined his blue friend in the sky. They flew around white fluffy clouds and over a sea of ice.

"Look at all that ice, Professor! Watch this! Weeeeeeeeeeee!"

Luke flew down to the icy surface and slid around on his belly like a penguin. Layton laughed. He landed on the ice and did a hand-stand. He zoomed across the ice, using the flat part of his top hat as a some kind of sled.

"Forget the gold! Forget Flora! Forget the box!" The professor laughed, "Forget everything! Let's live on the ice forever!"

"You said it Professor!"

"I love you, Luke!"

"I love you too, maaaaaan!"

A tall man in a black tailcoat stared down at his feet in disgust. A bloody shaken Layton and a fat bruised child lay dazed and delirious in front of his master's castle. He pushed his glasses up his huge nose with his index finger and scoffed. "I don't get paid enough for this." He mumbled. With his head up high in the air, he walked into the castle with an aura of great dignity.

When he returned , in his hand were two leather leashes. Each had a studded collar. Sighing reluctantly, he put them on both of their necks and dragged Layton and Luke's limp bodies inside.

…

The professor bolted up right. He looked around, his memories of the past hour had left him. He was laying in a soft bed with beautiful CLEAN brown sheets. He hasn't seen such a thing since the start of his adventure when he was back in his London flat. Perfectly clean, perfectly posh! He looked above at the huge golden chandelier and turned his had the gold picture frames on the wall. Something moved next to him and he turned his head to Luke. The boy was beside him, in the same bed. His blue messenger cap was on the counter.

"Luke, my boy! Wake up. I think we're here."

Luke groaned.

"LUKE! Wake the puzzle up!"

Still nothing. The professor sighed. He pulled himself out of bed and then immediately ran over to the dresser and took out every valuable thing he could possibly find. Golden pens, golden erasers. Whoever the hoopityhoop owned this place went incredibly insane with wealth.

Eventually Luke woke up to find the entire room in disarray. The drawers were pulled out of the dresser and onto the floor along with everything else. "Professor?"

"GOLD! GOLD GOLD GOLD!" He replied.

Luke jumped out of the bed and put on his hat. He helped Layton destroy the room, "I can't find anything-"

"SSSH." Said Layton. "Listen Luke." His voice dropped down to a low whisper. "Shut the frank up.. But I think we might be in the Castle."

Luke almost screamed like a pre-teen girl at a boy band. He had to bite his lip to control himself,

"Wh-what do we do, Professor?"

"Loot the place and get the floop out!"

"But what about the box?"

"The what?"

"The Mashed Potato Box!"

"Oh. Loot that too! LOOT THAT TOO!"

Luke was about to say something else but Layton opened the door and stepped out into the doorway. The apprentice reluctantly followed.

The castle was still very beautiful, but you can tell it's been around for a while because everything was just so old fashioned. The pictures on the walls were all of one person. That beautiful blonde man they saw in the Herzen museum.

The curator's voice echoed in Layton's head.

_"Ah. That's Anton. It's best that you don't look directly at him-It can mesmerize an inexperienced mind, turning you into a horny, starving, fangirl."_

"Luke! It's the man with the diary. Don't look exactly at the picture. He's too beautiful for normal eyes!"

Luke wasn't listening. He stared at Anton, face red and heart racing. "It's a gift. A beautiful gift." His hand touched the photograph of Anton's face.

"It says here that the photographer burst into flames immediately after taking that picture." Layton said, reading the engraving on the frame.

"Suddenly, I want to tie myself up in ropes and be spanked."

"LUKE. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE THINK I'M A PEDOPHILE!" Layton grabbed Luke by the ear and tugged him down the hallway.

There were so many grand, wooden doors. The answer—And the Herzen fortune could be in any of these places.

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow—"

"Luke, shut the french up." Layton let go of the boy's ear. "Listen. I hear something—"

The sound of shoes was coming closer and closer.

"It's coming towards us!" Said Layton.

"What do we do?"

Layton grabbed the nearest doorknob, "In here, Luke! Hurry!"

They both ran inside of the room. Layton closed the door—but only a little. It was open just enough for him to peak at the hallway at the incoming stranger. But his apprentice stood behind him, not moving. His mouth was down to the floor.

It was a dimly lit room. It was small—Probably a closet. There was a chair, and leather straps. There was a shelf full of manikin heads wearing black latex masks. Furry handcuffs and a whip were at Luke's feet. Strong, itchy rope dangled from hooks in the ceiling. There was a huge, spikey dil—

"SHI—TTTAAKKE! IT'S COMING." Layton yelled. He barely had enough time to censor the swear. He turned around and his eyes grew large at the room, fully taking it in. They forgot to move in time.

The tall man with the glasses from before had opened the door. His eyes were narrowed, as if he seen this kind of thing a thousand and one times. "Ah, yes. My master has been expecting you. I've see you found his 'Happy Room'. I'm not very fond of his er—habits."

"H-habits?" Layton stammered.

"Come." The man said, "Follow me, and you can ask him about it yourself."

"I'd rather not—"

"COME." The voice was very commanding and the two felt like they had to obey. They didn't have much of a choice, anyway. It was better than walking around such a large castle aimlessly. They can be walking forever.

They walked down the long, wide hallway of fanciness until they got to a huge wooden double door. The man in the suit did an odd knock. It was as if he knocked without his knuckles touching the wood.

"Come in!" Said a strangely flamboyant voice.

The man nodded, and opened up the door. It was a grand dining room with a table that stretched literally from the door to the back wall. On top of the silky yellow table cloth was food. So much real, delicious actual food. No hamster meat required.

Luke's eyes were huge. But not because of the feast. It was because of the man sitting at the end of the table. The beautiful blonde man, wearing the most handsome smirk any of them had ever seen in their lives.

"Thank you, Nigel." He said. "Come, sweeties. Have a seat."

The man at the other end of the table was Anton fappin' Herzen.

Anyway guys, thanks for all your patience. I haven't gone anywhere, I've just been under a lot of writer's block and it took that negative review to encourage me to continue! Whoa, who woulda thunk? (i also had to replay through the game all over again cause i forgot what happened) Hopefully the next chapter isn't going to take nearly a year! Hahahahaha—I'm terrible.

**Next time on Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box**, Layton and Luke will talk to Anton.. Probably find out more about that Mashed Potato Box we keep hearing about.. And.. _Maybe_ end the fanfic? Until then, everyone!


	9. End Of The Line

**Last time on Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box:** Professor Layton and his apprentice Luke got high on mushrooms and found themselves in Herzen Castle. After looting everything they found, they ended up face to face with Anton Herzen in his very large and very fancy dining room.

* * *

><p>Moving was nearly impossible for the two. Luke's eyes were glued to Anton's. Layton's legs were as if they were perfectly cemented to the ground. It was exactly as the curator had said. Anton's bishounen-ness was too much to handle for normal mortal eyes such as theirs.<p>

Anton giggled, "You two look like you need to be whipped."

"Strangely enough, I don't think that's a bad thing." Luke turned to the Professor.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? I DIDN'T COME HERE TO PLAY MASOCHIST."

"You didn't?" Anton frowned.

"HELL NO I DIDN'T!"

Anton jolted out of his chair. He crossed his arms over his chest, "Outrageous! Completely outrageous! Why on EARTH did you come to MY castle if you didn't want to get whipped?"

He sighed, "No matter." He pulled a long leather whip from underneath the table, "I suppose I can find some other use for this."

"You- you're kidding." Layton frowned, "You really had the whip?"

Luke shook his head. He sat down at the table and Layton sat across from him. They both silently began to eat. They were both exhausted and hungry anyway, they might as well.

Anton slowly sat back down in his chair as well and stared at Layton and Luke intently. He was positively giggly, the way he bounced up and down in his seat. "Oh you MUST pardon me! I don't really get company! Isn't this GRAAND, Nigel? We can finally have that orgy we wanted."

Nigel rolled his eyes, while Luke and Layton simultaneously choked on chicken.

"Ooooh, starting already, eh?" Anton winked.

Layton reached for a glass of water, but Luke grabbed it first. The professor swatted the younger boy's hand away from the glass and he tried to reach for it again. Both of them were loudly gagging because of the delicious meal clogged in their throats. The corners of both of their eyes began to water as they each fought over which one would drink that one glass of water. Layton finally grabbed the nearest fork and stabbed Luke in the middle of his forehead. Then he gulped down the entire drink.

Panting, he turned to Anton, "I-I'm afraid I'm not into that kind of thing!"

Anton frowned, "You both are no fun, you know that?"

Luke was still choking. He pointed to his throat.

"What's wrong with him?" Anton asked. "Erotic asphyxiation?"

"Ohh you know kids!" Said Layton, "Always playing games."

Luke wildly waved his arms in the air. His face was now a nice shade of lavender.

Anton didn't seem impressed. He pulled out an itchy rope, rather long in length. He wrapped it around Luke's chest in a series of intricate knots. "TADA! The Eiffel Tower!" He bowed.

Layton clapped, "Hey, that's pretty good. Bondage sure is interesting. And it also reminds me of a puzzle!"

Luke passed out over the table.

"What are your names, anyway?" Anton asked, "And why exaaactly are you here?"

"I'm professor Hershel Layton-"

"H-HHERSSH-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP IT'S NOT AN OLD PERSON NAME I'M NOT OLD!" The professor screamed. He reached out and clasped both of his hands around Anton's beautifully flawless neck, "Listen! We're here for the Mashed Potato Box, okay? Do YOU know what it is?"

Anton's laughter suddenly went to a halt. "What?"

"LOOK! I DON'T KNOW! I don't even want to look for that! Okay, let me rephrase the question. Do you know where the gold is?" He loosened his grip on Anton and folded his hands into his lap.

"MY gold? You mean MY fortune? And what would you want with that?" The duke was starting to sound furious.

"NO! No! I don't want to LOOT it or anything, NO! NO! I just.. Okay, let me rephrase the question. Hypothetically, if you were to put the gold somewhere.. where exaaaactly would it be? Hypothetically, I mean."

"Hypothetically I'd have to kick your ass, Mr. Hershe-" He started laughing again.

"LAYTON." Layton snapped, "LAYTON is just fine."

"On the contrary, it isn't." Anton raised out of his seat. "I'm afraid I can't help you, Mr. Layton-"

"PROFESSOR."

"-I'm afraid I can't help you, Professor Layton. Because I have no idea what a 'Mashed Potato Cube' is, and there's no way I'm telling you all about the gold I keep in my fuzzy pink drawer next to my gold sparkly boxers in the room next to the kitchen-Whooops."

"A-HAH!" Layton grabbed the limp, unconscious Luke. "LET'S GO, MY BOY!"

Anton screamed an incredibly girly wail. "NIGEL!" He shrieked. "NIGEL, DON'T LET THEM ESCAPE!"

Nigel charged towards the professor with his hands outstretched.

"I DON'T THINK SO!" Layton yelled. He used Luke as a baseball bat. The butler had flew across the room, and his back slammed against a wall. He fell onto the ground and his leg twitched. In the attack, Nigel's sharp, pencil-like nose had collided with Luke's throat, pushing the piece of chicken right out of Luke's mouth.

"NIGEL! YOU'RE TIED TO A SUPERNATURAL CONTRACT!" Anton screamed. "GET UP AND DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY!"

Layton put the child under his arm as if you would hold a surf board and sprinted out of the room.

Nigel was unconscious.

"Most worthless butler EVER!" Anton gracefully jumped over the body, "If you need something done you gotta do it yourself!" He ran out of the door.

Layton thought the coast was clear, but he was wrong. He looked behind him to see Anton not too far behind him. His legs carried on. He had to find the gold and get out of there!

The two ran through the endless hallway. The ceiling was so sparkly their reflections above were running with them. If Layton wasn't too busy running for his life, he would have definitely enjoyed the beautiful vintage decorations. After all, he was an archaeologist.

"Gotta find the kitchen!" Layton thought to himself. He looked at all the doors that went by. Each one was a big brown blur. "Dammit which one is which.." Slowing down would be stupid, so he decided to just keep going.

"LAAAYYYYYTONNNNNN!" Anton screamed, bringing the professor out of his thoughts. His footsteps were getting louder and louder.

"Shit!" He ran even faster, but he was coming to his limit. Only one thing to do. He pulled Luke from under his arm and flapped the boy's body around in the air as if he was a giant wet noodle. Then he tossed Luke on the ground behind him as he ran. "That'll stop him."

Anton gasped, totally not expecting that. "NO-NO! ANYTHING BUT-"

He tripped right over Luke and landed on his beautiful face.

Layton turned around, laughing as hard as he could. He ran right into a wall and knocked himself out.

Classical music. Tons of classical music. And a beautiful echo to boot. There was a huge neoclassical ballroom with wide windows and equally wide curtains to cover them all. Woman in ball gowns twirled around with their lovers holding onto their waists. Men in tuxedos carried cheap wine, handing it out to everyone who had wanted one.

Layton found himself wandering through the crowd of dancing people. He got jabbed in the eye by some woman's elbow. "Stupid bitch." He mumbled. He snatched a cheap wine glass and drank away the pain. Upon walking a little more he discovered Anton dancing in circles with a lady friend.

It was hard NOT to see Anton. His outfit changed colours like a strobe light and he had a sign sticking out of his collar high above his head that said "LOOK AT ME I'M PRETTY!"

The beautiful woman he danced with had a striking resemblance to Katia, Mr. Anderson's daughter. But her purple hair was short. The woman dancing had long flowing purple locks, but the kind face stayed the same.

Layton watched them dance a bit more. He had about 4 more glasses of wine. "YEAAAAAH GIRLLLL! TAKE YER TOP OFF!" Apparently, the professor was bad with holding alcohol.

The couple suddenly stopped dancing. Anton turned to Layton and smirked, "I love human meat sautéed in alcohol."

..

Layton jerked. His eyes opened and he looked around the room. This place was not fabulous in the least. It was a dark broom closet that smelled heavily of tears and stale blood. "ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST" was written on all of the walls with sparkly red ink.

"Oh Professor! Thank GOD!" It was Luke.

The professor tried to move, but he was tied up Japanese bondage style with his hands behind his back, "ANTON!? What the hell?"

He turned to his left and found Luke in the same situation. "You've been out for a while, Professor!" Luke cried. "I don't know how I got in here! He said he was going to eat us! He's a vampire, Professor!"

"Luke! That picture we saw of him and the rest of the Herzens back in the museum was taken 50 YEARS ago! And he looks EXACTLY the same."

"Because he's that bitch vampire who's hoarding the gold! Professor, how are we going to get out of here!?" The boy wiggled around in the rope, but nothing happened.

**"Puzzle power!"**

"Um, what?"

"PUZZLE POWER!"

All the ropes began to unravel as Professor Layton used his mind and his love of puzzles to detangle every single knot.

"PROFESSOR! That was AWESOME! Now THAT'S why I'm your apprentice!"

They both high fived.

"Now we just need to get the hell out of here!" Said Layton. "Look around to see if you can find anything."

"I found a razor blade!"

Layton frowned, "I don't know how that would work. Let's look harder." Layton moved some angst boxes out of the way and looked around for something-ANYTHING that can get them out of the Emo Closet.

"WE'RE GOING TO BE HERE FOREVER!" Luke screamed. "IT'S HOPELESS!"

"Calm down, Luke! Just look harder!" But it really did seem useless.

"I FOUND A KEY!" Luke grabbed the key from underneath a tear soaked pillow and tried to jam it in the door hole, but it was too small. "I think it's a diary key."

"Whatever, Luke. Go on and read the last lock while I try and find something else we can use."

"Alright, Professor! Gosh, it's so damn weird reading his diary after we've already met him." He turned to the final lock and put in the key.

"Daddy died of that stupid illness. SERVES HIM RIGHT WITH THE REST OF FOLSENSE. HOWWWW DAAAARE THEY MAKE ANOTHER TOWN! WHO NEEDS THEM! I'M TOO SEXY FOR FOLSENSE! I'M TO SEXY FOR EVERYONE! Oh, diary! It's like you're the only one who understands me! I'm going to go to my ANGST CLOSET and cry! Cry beautiful golden silky tears from my precious sweet baby face. Well I'll show them. I'll kill ANYONE who comes to my town! NO ONE CAN HAVE ME! I AM UNSTOPPABLE! Even though that BACK STABBING BITCH STOLE MY BOX! ANGST ANGST ANGSTT AAAAAAAAANGSSSSSSST"

"Wow, it was the longest AND the craziest." Luke said, closing the diary for good.

"He was stricken with grief. Of course it was."

"Do you think the box he mentioned was the Mashed Potato Box, Professor?"

Layton nodded, "That pretty son-of-a-bitch was lying to us when he said he didn't know what it was."

"I don't think I was awake for that part." Luke glared at Layton.

"SORRY, I WAS THRISTY! Rather you die than me, ammiright?"

"Hmph."

"Alright, alright. Let's figure out a way to get the hell out of here before we suffocate."

"Well.. Wait. Professor did we even try the door?"

Layton frowned, "No Luke. We did not."

His apprentice turned the door knob and it swung open.

Layton smacked Luke upside the head. Then he walked out. His apprentice promptly followed while rubbing his aching head.

"Where are we?" Luke asked.

"We seem to be in the boiler room." Layton replied. There were huge machinery everywhere, probably used to dig up the mines. "No one is using the boiler, though."

Luke gasped, "PROFESSOR, LOOK! THERE'S A GIANT HOLE!"

They both looked down at the giant hole next to them. It seemed to go down for years. There was an odd fume coming out from the hole, as well.

"It's so dark!" Luke said. "And that smoke!"

"Don't breathe it, Luke! We've already been high enough! We have to either find the gold or go home and I'm NOT staying here."

"Right! About the gold part, I mean."

As they walked to the next door to get out of the boiler, Luke took one last look at the hole to the mines and frowned, "Jeez. A huge whole in the castle. How classy!" He said sarcastically. "That Anton guy is a quack."

Layton laughed. He was taking the door off a vent so they can both crawl through it to escape. It was very narrow but Layton surprisingly fit perfectly. It was Luke who had to suck in his fat gut to travel through the vent. They ended up going upstairs and they landed right in the middle of another dining room. Matter of fact, they landed right on top of a table. It broke under their fall and crushed Nigel who for some reason was underneath it.

"LOOK, A DOOR!" Luke painted to the large gold one straight ahead.

"Let's go, let's go!" They both jumped off the table and ran right towards it.

As soon as they ran through the door they bumped right into Katia.

"WHAT THE HELL?" She screamed. "What are YOU thugs doing here? AND GIVE ME BACK MY BOX!"

"YOUR BOX? ITS OUR BOX!" Said Layton, "It's the box that killed SOMEBODY I SHOULD CARE ABOUT! Who was he again? Uhh..."

"What?!" Katia yelled. She shook her head, "You two idiots don't know ANYTHING! Just hand it over and go home before you both get yourselves killed!"

"Oh yeahh?" Said Luke, "And who's gonna kill us, girly?"

"Shut up, boy! You don't want to fuck with this shit! Your professor still has that gash on his lip from the last time we fought."

"She has a point there." Said Layton, rubbing his lower lip where it had split, "She CAN fight, for some strange reason."

"So COME ON!" Katia grabbed Layton and Luke's wrists.

"SERIOUSLY? After all this we're just going to be thrown out?" Luke said to Layton as they were both pulled down a set of stairs by an angry Katia.

"Don't worry, Luke. I'll think of something." The professor whispered, "Just go with it."

But as soon as they reached the end of the steps and got near the exit, Anton appeared and blocked it.

"SHIT!" Katia gasped.

"You again!" Said Luke. "You vampire creep! Give us the damn gold!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that, LAYTON!" Anton snapped.

"I'm Luke."

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY FACE, LAYTONN!" He pointed to a bruise around his beautiful left eye. "You caused an IMPERFECTION TO MY FACE, LAYTON."

There was something horrendously wrong with Anton, besides the messed up eye. His beautiful, handsome face was distorted and red with anger. He grimaced, showing sharp terrifying teeth. His eyes were glowing with pure hatred. "MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL FACE."

"AND YOUUUU!" He pointed a finger at Katia, "YOU BITCH."

Katia stepped back and tripped on the first step. She ended up twisting her ankle. "ANTON, WAIT! I'M NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM-"

"SOPHIA!" He screamed, "HOW DARE YOU?" Anton took a step closer. Then, he pulled a shining silver sword from his sheath which was wrapped around his waist.

Luke gasped, "HE'S ARMED?"

"Stand back, Luke! Take Katia and get the hell up the stairs. Maybe there's another way out!" Said Layton.

"But what about the gold?"

"I'll handle the vampire. Then we're free to get alll the gold we want, once he's dead."

"Right!" Luke helped Katia by holding her by the waist, allowing her to lean on him. He tried to climb the steps but the older girl wouldn't budge, "Come on, Katia!"

"LAYTON, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!" Katia screamed.

Anton took a horizontal swing at Layton's chest, but the professor dropped to the ground and rolled into a wall to avoid the attack. A bunch of swords that were mounted onto that wall fell down around him. He grabbed the nearest one and unsheathed it. "A-HAH!"

Anton let out an angry scream.

It was a fascinating scene. The Professor and Anton darted around the room. The sounds of their swords slashing against other bounced through the whole room.

"LAYTON! ANTON!" Katia yelled.

"Getting tired, hmmm?" Layton asked, ducking Anton's brutal stab.

"NEVER! I HAVE THE STAMINA TO KEEP GOING FOR YEARS!" But he was panting.

"I'll finish this off then!" Layton took the clove of garlic out of his pocket and threw it at Anton's forehead. It bounced off. It wasn't very effective..

"BUT HOW?" Said Luke, "He's a VAMPIRE!"

"He's NOT!" Said Katia, "I told you two! You guys are idiots! You don't even belong here!"

Anton took one last swipe at Layton before he fell onto his knees. He was breathing heavily now, "What's.. HAPPENING TO ME?"

"If he's not a vampire WHO and WHAT the fuck is he?" Layton turned to Katia.

She let out a long sigh. "I'm his granddaughter."

Anton turned to Katia. His eyes were huge. "Wh-..What? ME? A GRANDPA? HAH! HAHAHAHA! No! I'm young and beautiful!"

She shook her head, "It's an illusion, Anton. There's a gas in those mines that the miners struck when they were digging for the Herzen fortune."

Layton turned to the bewildered man in front of him and then his eyes lit up. "That's RIGHT! That explains EVERYTHING. The town still looks as if it did 50 years ago because of the gas! Folsense is just one giant illusion!"

"Even the train station!" Said Luke, "That's why it changed! It wasn't hunger at all!"

"SO THAT BITCH SOPHIA LEFT ME HERE TO BREATHE DRUGS FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY?" Anton yelled.

"Pretty much." Katia frowned. "She was pregnant, though. That's how I got here."

"Pregnant?"

"YES, ANTON. It takes two to make a damn baby." Said Layton.

In shock, Anton backed up into the chain holding the chandelier up and ended up breaking it. The next thing they knew, the entire castle was crumbling down.

"WHO THE FUCK BUILT THIS PLACE?" Screamed Luke as the ceiling began to collapse.

"IT WAS CHEAPER TO MAKE IT OUT OF CORN FLAKES AND BUBBLEGUM!" Anton replied.

"WE GOTTA GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

The four of them ran to the exit as fast as they could. They ran right over the bridge with the mines underneath. The castle exploded behind them, raining debris everywhere. By the time the last person made it to the other side (which was Anton) the bridge was destroyed as well.

Layton and Luke huddled together to catch their breath while Katia stared at the ruins of her grandfather's old castle.

"There goes the gold.." Said Luke. "Gone, gone, gone."

There was a withering old man shrieking.. Well, attempting to shriek, if his voice wasn't so damn old. Anton was nothing but a shaking old man. He stared at his wrinkly, sagging palms. "My.. my beauty. My.. my beautiful beauty.."

Layton pulled the box from his pocket and examined it, "This wasn't cursed after all."

"It wasn't?" Luke frowned.

"No! The hallucinating gas was in the box all along, making whoever opened the box die because that's what they thought were going to happen. Poor person who died of the box who I forgot the name of."

"SUCKS TO BE THEM, EHHH PROFESSOR!?"

They both shared a jolly laugh.

_futari de ikiru riyuu o _

"That box was stolen from me." Anton said. He turned his shriveling old neck to the two laughing idiots, "..It.. It holds a great secret more great than my beauty. Sophia took it from me."

_tsuranuku you na manazashi de tashikame atta_

"Is it greater than gold?" Luke asked, wide eyed.

_ima de mo ikizuku itami wa kioku _

"Even greater."

_sore ijou no nanika chikai sono mono_

Layton and Luke stared at Anton in anticipation. The professor quickly handed Anton his box back.

_sorezore no omoide onaji uta o ai shita_

Anton simply blew into the keyhole and the box opened up.

_sugiiku toki no kanata ni hibiku merodi_

Layton and Luke jumped behind Anton and peered into the box. Both of their foreheads were dripping beats of sweat and anticipation.

_chigau keshiki no naka ni mo onaji iro ga kagayaiteru koto o shitta no_

Katia looked around for the background music.

_senaka awase no aida ni aru nukumori o kitto kanjite ikeru_

The sun was rising over the dark forest of Folsense the icey lake in the distance glittered and the reflection of the blue sky stretched for miles.

"_ushinawazu ni wa mae ni susumenai" sonna omoi mo_

Each building in town turned off its lights. It no longer looked like a town of eyes, but a town of loneliness and desolation. At the train station, Beluga took his last suitcase on board the Gruesome Express. He took one look at the empty streets before turning to his nephew who solemnly nodded.

_tejina mitai ni tane o akasareru koto o matteru_

Anton pulled a roll of paper from the box. "It's my mashed potato recipe!" He smiled, "The tastiest around!"

He didn't even have time to react. Anton was pushed into the hole by Layton and Luke.

"GRANDPA!" Katia screamed. She ran over to the hole and looked down, "GRANDPA!"

"ALL ALONG!?" Layton exclaimed. "ALL ALONG? COME ON, LUKE. LET'S TAKE THE GRUESOME EXPRESS BACK TO LONDON."

The two angrily stomped off into the forest.

_"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDPAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA!"_

**And that was the tale of the Mashed Potato Box. A box feared for the fatal curse it was said to carry...**

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><p>Is this the end of Professor Layton and the Mashed Potato Box? Yes. But Chii hates odd numbers, so stay tuned for an <strong>epilogue<strong>! Thank you everybody for reading and leaving such amazing reviews. I hope you liked this chapter and I hope you liked the fanfiction. By the way, the song is uh.. Iris -shiawase no hako- by Salyu and it's the song that played in the credits for Anton and Sophia's music box in the game. Once again, thank you so much. You don't know how much I mean this from the bottom of my tentacle covered heart. (long story)

_..unwound future?_


	10. Even Number Epilogue

"Check out this paper, Luke." Said Layton.

They were back in their flat in London, now. The events of Folsense and Dropstone happened a few days ago and they were finally back home. Absolutely nothing was out of the ordinary. Luke was annoying as usual, and Layton was absorbed in his puzzles and whatever it is professors do at Universities. Presently, they were in the living room sharing the sofa. Two hot glasses of tea were on the coffee table next to an unsolved jigsaw puzzle. Anton's diary rested on a shelf in the furthest corner of the room, never to be opened again. (Unless in the case of a wild sex party, but that's a different fanfiction entirely) Layton had briefly stepped out to check the mail, and returned with a bunch of boring white envelopes and his subscription to the newspaper.

"Andrew Schrader lives.." Luke said, reading the page. "That's incredible. The guy who died was his clone, with the same name!"

"Who woulda thought!" Layton laughed, "Cloning in this day and age! Schrader was always an old tool. The old fucker probably sent us that box just to troll us on a stupid journey the entire time."

Luke was laughing too. But slowly, the laughing turned to a halt.

They both exchanged glares of anger and intense homicide.

"Let's KILL HIM."

"Not now, Luke." Layton patted his apprentice's back, "**Soon.** After all, a gentleman knows when to exact his revenge."

Suddenly, Luke was reminded of the hotel and Layton's dragon rage once he found out the mashed potato box was empty. "Hey Professor.." Luke went into his pocket and pulled out a hint coin, "What are these for anyway? We never really found out."

"Ohh yeahh. So we didn't. Do you have them all? There's a lot of stuff we forgot to uncover."

"Yeah, I kinda stopped giving a shit after we found out what was really inside the box." Luke laughed.

"We never really found out about what happened to what's-her-name, either. If they're hint coins, maybe they have a hint about where she is?"

"You mean Flora? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard!"

"You DARE doubt the Professor's famous intuition?" Layton advanced closer to Luke. The boy shivered, scared of being tied up and whipped. His new punishments were definitely because of Anton. It must have rubbed off on Layton.

"W-Well I got two of them in my pocket, let's try it out. How the hell do you activate it, anyway?" He held it up against the lamp that was on the ceiling. Shiny, raised letters began to appear on the surface of the coin as the light bounced off of it. "A-HAH!"

"Let's see.." The professor had to squint his tiny eyes just to read what it said, " 'Dumbledore had the Elder Wand.' What?"

"The fuck?" Luke pulled the coin away from the light. It became dull once more. "Uhh.. I'll try again."He shined it to the light once again, "Zelda is Hylia.." Luke read, "Well these aren't hint coins! They're fucking SPOILER coins!"

"Try another one, Luke. You said you had two of them."

"Alright, alright." He fumbled around in his pockets and pulled out the second coin. He held it high in the air. Layton stood over the boy and looked up at the coin. Slowly, the words began to form in the copper:

"Flora dies in Professor Layton and The Mashed Potato Box."

"Oh." Luke frowned.

"Hm." Layton sat back down on the couch. Luke put the coins back in his pocket and sat next to his mentor.

Layton picked up the newspaper again, "It says Don Paolo is still out there.."

"Typical."

"Chelmey's looking well, though. He had a surgery and he's recovering according to page 4."

Luke sighed, "That's all and well, Professor. But I honestly don't care."

Layton narrowed his eyes at the newspaper in his hands with disinterest. He tossed it over his shoulder, "Awh, fuck it."

"What else came in the mail, Professor?"

"Ah, just some letter." The envelope was beside him on the couch.

"It's a letter from Andrew Schrader!" Luke gasped once he got his hands on it. Ignoring the "Who?" from Layton, the boy opened it up. " 'Dear Professor Layton and Sex Slave'—Hey! I'm not a sex slave! Anyway, 'The Macaroni and Cheese box is in my possession—A box rumoured to kill anyone who opens it. When I pass-.." Layton snatched the letter and tore it into pieces.

"DO WE KILL HIM NOW, PROFESSOR?"

"NOW. KILL HIM NOW. I'M NOT GOING ON ANY OF HIS STUPID TROLL QUESTS EVER AGAIN!"

Grabbing a cleaver and an axe, the two ran out and into the sunlight.

They didn't know it, but there was a pot boiling in their kitchen. In their kill-andrew-schrader-rage, the mashed potatoes Layton was cooking was beginning to burn. And burn..

And burn..

As the thick black smoke filled the apartment and the flames burned everything inside, it was safe to say that Anton had finally gotten his revenge.

His beautiful ghost snickered. He grabbed his diary and swooshed over the pieces of the new letter which was written in sparkly purple ink.

"The mashed potato recipe is MINE, Layton! MIIIIIIIIIINE!"

"ANTON!"

Anton's ghost turned around to see the ugly old ghost of Sophia floating in the doorway connecting the kitchen to the livingroom. Her arms were crossed and she did not look happy. Her cheeks were sagging to her ankles and her purple hair was in rollers. "Get back to the underworld and massage my feet!"

"CURSES!" Anton screamed. He shook his fist in the air, "I'LL GET YOU LAYTON, IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO—"

"And who is this Flora hussy who keeps coming around our lawn? Are you seeing her? Can't I live the rest of my dead life in peace? Let's go, Anton!" Sophia grabbed Anton by his beautiful ear and pulled him out of the realm of the living. He was cursed to rub Sophia's feet and help her with physical therapy for the rest of his undead days.

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><p>And this is the conclusion of the Mashed Potato Box! I cannot thank everyone enough for all the encouragement you all gave me. Thanks for reading, thanks for reviewing, and thanks for sticking it out even though there were a lot of long pausing. I originally wrote this story during a really dark time in my life and every single review and favourite really made me get through it.<p>

And if you're still reading through this sappy post-story crap, (who does?) the answer is YES. YES! I WILL do Unwound Future. I'll do it for everyone who believed in the me that I wanted everyone to believe in because I believe in you!

And the answer is NO! That last sentence made absolutely no sense!

I don't know when Unwound Future will be up (since I gotta play da game and start getting a plot together and stuff) But stay tuned! I promise it'll be before the second Mayan apocalypse of 3014.

Merry Christmas, Everyone!


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